Page 11 - Contrast1963Februaryv1n2

This Is I~by Jerry Laughed

This is \'Ihy J"erry laughed: because the sea was chuckling against the

shore and the win.d was giggling in the reeds--because it didn't matter--it

didn't matter at alll The test didn't matter; the passport didn't l!.atteri

the car didn't matter; tho girl with the tunafish sandwiches didnlt matter.

Nothing in the who10 daun trlorld wattered, and here he Has with a laugh in his

throatl The laugh Bprang out trailing undisciplined, dervish laughs after it.

He flung hiDlself on the grass, hitting his head on hidden driftwood. He

laugbed at the boy sprawled squinting at the sun, with onc hand on his belly

and the ot.her on hi shead.

Hhat hoi Here lies Jerry, uncontrollably choking on the wind because
t.here's no becausel Thnr01s no
one here but him and here he lies uncon-
trollably choldnC on the \'Iind. winding
(Yes, I think 1111 remewber that:

on the uncontrollable lie.)

Jerry Ritter. rrhat I s what he "l'laSgoing to do. (It \,/SS al ways in the future

tense, never in the present.) He was goil1t; ,(,0 graduate--but there never seemed

to be enough time, and even when there \"las, sOlllctLing said, HuO what , Jerry,

child?" as now it shouted, "tlo \lhat?lt ~;hy c\.."ldn't he just lie here all his

life ••• laughing in the rain, laughing,in the _1~",~htistarvir..g with nothing

but a Laugh in his stomach; and decoruposing Lnt-, t.he grass and sand I rein-

Carnating to laugh in the night. \,linds?

bO now the car ve s wrecked; he couldn't 2;et a p a s spo r t untd I the trial
wa s over i he coul dn It, have the Lrial until the girl sot out of the hospital;

and hi s Dlother blided jj1arlyr-lL-.:e around the house.

He could go crazy--1.hat woul d be a perfect solution: room, board, and

shock-treatr,:ents--all sOUlebody'else's responsibility--no more pretending to

care. His side hurt, and his head hurt, and the warm sun was spreading sleep.

NO"1 he lies exhausteo.. bOon he \'Ii11 get up and try very hard to control
his laughter, and try very hard to worry--and try very ;lard to pretend it

matters. Anony!"ous

Dilemrua.

your favorite color's blue, you said,
And I look good in blue, you said.

Ly dear, what shall I do
IJhen you. no longer love me

And all my clothes c..re blu.e?

211".'''1 \/it.heri te

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