Page 20 - Phoenix2002-03

Wednesday, September 25, 2002 - Page 8 COMMENTARY An R.A.'s angst via problematical Rouzer residents Dan Hamvas vents about the getting really upset. So I do my job, and tell these aggravated, thing but heartfelt thank-you's anyway avoidable problems with the Just about as upset as they are, when the demanding little boys that, "you guys prob- (shout out goes to all present and ex-North- to what many think power addressed by Rouzer OCM (which is contrary term for coolness, but ably need to unplug your illegal air-condi- siders of Rouzer. They know what I'm on tioner. and is not a hip-hop residents. short for "On-Call Mechanic") tells them that Illegal air-conditioner? about), but I would only like, if someone to me why there are only 2, or Atlflghf! he can't fix it. Why is it illegal? could explain of 3 outlets in each room? a maximum Here we go again! "It will be fixed tomorrow!" If you can buy it at Walmart without need- Yes, I know that you can split that with a New year and new stuff to bitch about! Translation: "tonight you guys will just ing any kind of license or police-badge or power-strip, but plug too much stuff in there, Welcome aboard, please fasten your seat- have to do without power; suck it up and government permit to it, is it really illegal? and you can kiss the strip's ass good bye. belts, and. start bitching, as the line in So why isn't there enough outlets? front of us is 35 planes long, so takeoff is But McDaniel doesn't tell you either that we're not Because power we do have in America. still awhile away located in Siberia. Or did I get drugged by aliens with And as much as I don't agree with wasting Sorry! A little insider joke for those who it, we have enough to use it the way we want have ever flown off from Dulles lnterna- A.D.D., who put me out from the spaceship in the to. ticnal. wrong place and because the anal-probing feels just But we can't, because the joint is not The first disappointment of the year will equipped with the necessary wiring. be more puzzling than complicated. right, when I think of some things about this college? Why not? It actually does not even concern me di- What does it mean, they didn't think of rectly (then again, J'm an original bitcher and deal." the increase in electric appliances per room, I bitch for the truth, not for my own well- "Excuse me! Or are we just saying it's "illegal", because. when they built it? being,) but Iget involved a lot of times, be- . And you might also want to unplug five of How long was this building supposed to cause it is a problem in the residence halls. Where the hell are we? Nobody knew the six fans which you are using towards the last? where Western Maryland College was, so realization of your clandestine little plan of And who do you turn to when your life And 1know we live in a society, which is they changed the name to McDaniel College. turning your room into an ice-pit. is one big knot of frustration? kept alive by consumption or better said: But McDaniel doesn't tell you either that Furthermore, you could also unplug Who do you call when your freezer we're not located in Siberia. something else; your lap-top, your desktop, wasting, but we can't have soap in the bath- warms everything up, and your microwave Or did I get drugged by aliens with rooms because we "will waste it." freezes the stuff you put into it ? your palm top, your Carrot-top, your TV, ra- Yet we can build a brick-house, that's And you need someone to point out to A.D.D., who put me out from the spaceship dio, VCR, DVD, stereo, amplifier, or the supposed to last at least a century, without you that the micro's on top, and the freezer's in the wrong place and because the anal- microfridge, the alarm clock, the illegal ex- considering the future needs of its inhabit- on the bottom and not the other way around? probing feels just right, when I think of some tra fridge. ants? Who do you call when you threw your things about this college? Here! What the hell? no water on the streets, Nope, desk chair out the window in a rush of fury, not Bangladesh. so this is Again these illegal heavy artillery equip- Now, while I, as a rational-minded per- and you have nowhere to put your punk-ass Good! rnents only available on the black-market, son, do not expect Rouzer (and as a mater of down? What are you saying? and smuggled into the country behind the fact, Whiteford too) to look like the main- Who you gonna call? backs of National Security Agents by this evil frame terminal of the Matrix, I can't grasp That's right. the RA! That it's-westminster? conspiracy called: Walmart. why there isn't enough connections to drain Rouzer Angel. Not much better then! Or maybe some of the lights and black- the juice from the main-line? That's me! But, at least within the boundaries of lights, white-lights, blue-lights, and red- For $27,000, if I wanted to plug myself So I have all these people from all over good old U.S. of A. lights that are attempting to make your room into the wall, I should be able to do just that. the building coming up to me and telling me So, could someone then please explain look homely. But, 1 guess that's just the way the cookie that "the power's out." to me, why I have to spend one night on the Because you apparently forgot, my friend, East Coast of the States without power in that you are NOT at home-you are in col- crumbles, right? And I say: "Fine." The designers screwed up big time and But after about the twentieth complaint my room, while I am obliged to pay $27,000 lege!) gotta live with it, ha? (out of whom fifteen are actually the same a year to my hosting institution? Or something And at least one of the three huge Wrong! the response. Then comes people corning back again and again, I start Budweiser neon signs, please, which are like that. Fine! meant to signalize your commitment to early Dead wrong! alcoholism. Because from what I've heard, the prob- Why? lem can, in fact, be fixed by inserting extra- circuits. might not har- all this equipment Because So ~\\Ii? 1'5 monize too well with a similar plethora of So the question arises then: if this is pos- appliances \1'J\1e,re \'m \l\Ji~ electronic . maybe? in the two neighboring sible, why' wasn't this done before. what? Before we got back to school. Before 'flOW? Because every year, it is problem and more and more things to plug Because every year, it is the same damned the samedamned problem in, more and more power to go out. and more and more things Now, if there is an observable tendency of certain things happening, would it be a to plug in, more and more 10gic3.J tumble to assume that by planning ahead for the reappearance of given prob- power to go out. lem, and taking preventive measures to avoid it, we might be able to fight the certain ten- So I give them this little speech, because dency? that's my job, and I have to ask them to be That, maybe if we built in extra-circuits considerate, as I was instructed, because, befor~ the year starts, then the power might after all, we are living in a community and not go out as often? for the sake of the community we have to And then, if one year, students show up get rid our selfishness. with exactly the same amount of gadgetry Yeah, right! Unselfishness in the middle as the year before. of the Capitalism Empire. HA-HA. that's a Besides that being the time of a real re- good one! cession in America, I still don't think: being And respect each other by sharing the en- prepared will hurt us. ergy equally. Not as much, at least, as the annoying So I obediently recite all this, and then I power outages hurt my residents, and not as think about it later on, and somewhere in the much for sure, as annoyed residents anno! back of my mind, this tiny voice yells: "F- me with their redundant complaints of a rt- that! diculous technical mishap of such petty mag- They pay 27 (and next year 28) thousand nitude. American dollars for this environment to be Expecting an informative answer to my an inspiring and motivating place, in other questions and suggestions, yours truthfully: words a home for them. Daniel Hamvas. THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE IT THE WAY THEIR HEART DESrRES!" -Dan Hamvas is a senior The guy who built Rouzer deserves any- communications major.