Page 43 - Phoenix2001-02

COMMENTARY Wednesday. October 31. 2001- Page 7 Solutions for a campus with limited amounts of parties An Anonymous author provides some solutions OK, Ihereby regain composure. know who and what is to blame: to 3 AM. "Too loud." What? I can't tell if any of the listed kids people are trying for WMC. 1went too deep into the empathetic of parents raising their candy-ass and the sleep." "Some So what'? Is this a demo- get methods would work on the long run, and if people would drink less in a bulletproof womb, (get it? M-pathetic) experience Good fella', that Steve Residence Life's and Campus greediness of retards who just don't cratic country, or what? Majority or do it in a more civilized and so- Sharkey. Has style and a sense of Safety's efforts of prohibition. So, pay attention to what they are be- rules, and the majority would like cial manner (sorry Steve, 1 just acid sarcasm. 1do like that. Too bad they think they can stop beer by ing (literally) taught about the to party. But fine, ICl'S respect the don't want to raise false hopes). he is so right. Because I've heard busting the book-buggies? guidelines of drinking. And is it just minority (I still wonder how many But what 1 know is, that they rumors too. Well, if I had a dollar for every a strange coincidence that these are of the "noise violating" parties are SOLUTIONS and OPTIONS. First, I've heard rumors about clink of beer bottles heard in the same freshmen who are not al- were actually busted upon request And those are what we need. Not a former Playboy party-campus, Rouzer, then all Campus Safety lowed to have cars on campus; of anybody"). slaps on the wrist. And to be hon- and then J heard others about a pro- would see of me would be the back "So what can we do?" Well, we 1 guess that only leaves the est, I think that even if the system spective dry campus. Either .way: of my Lexus SUV, and Heidi Klum might get a shuttle running for choice of partying off campus. But changed there would still be re- Sharkey's right. riding shotgun waving them good- weekend nights that could take we are out of control there, right? tarded people who would cross the The only flaw of his article is bye ... people to more frequented areas Well we could have suite-par- limits (instead of pushing them). that it does not offer solutions. So Let's go then to the core of the with clubs. "No people to drive." ties!!! "No way! Too loud, plus But there always were and will here it comes, what is called in be stupid people. Why should the fancy-shmancy English: construc- Well, if I had a dollar for every clink of beer bottles heard in rest of the population suffer be- tive criticism; with a little touch of Rouzer, thenall Campus Safety would see of me would be the cause of couple of idiots? schizophrenia to be as objective as Why is everything measured in possible. back of my Lexus SUv, and Heidi Klum riding shotgun waving America based the lowest end of Quick revision of the problem, the scale? according to Sharkey: "Any chance them good-bye ... When are we going to grow up of a party happening here has been problem. Why do people drink on BS. Money makes the world go there is danger of common area and realize that we are not equal in obliterated by strict enforcement of this campus? Hmrnm ... Could it be, round, but okay, then why don't we damage." our personalities and actions, and all college policies" because there is nothing else to do'? rent Johannsen's basement? "Too You know what? Why don't we the ones higher shouldn't be low- Facts drawn from [he distrib- We're stuck in a little town on the expensive." all just go and play Monopoly on ered to the idiots' level (instead of uted DoCS pamphlet: the number ass of the world (still, mad props All right, then why don't we get Red Square? Or make the profes- idiots growing up). of alcohol violations in 1998- 4 for the excellent learning- environ- a house where people could go and sors give us more homework, so 'When are we going to take re- arrests; disciplinary actions: N/A; ment), which is so boring when it party (it's a devit's circle that that we'd have no time to party? sponsibility. for our actions indi- 1999-3 arrests; 149disciplinary comes down to parties, clubs, danc- people' are only allowed to drink in Or label party a "criminal activity" vidually and not as a group? actions; 2000 - 2 arrests; 215 dis- ing, (or in one word: "life"), that their rooms, but it is not allowed to and stop it legally once and for all? Or when will we then leam to ciplinary actions. Oh my God, even the dead people in the cem- have more than seven people in a But people would still be drinking outcast those, who by acts of stu- we're growing to be a nation of al- etery rock it harder then the youth dorm-room at the same time, and alcohol. Because having a beer pidity and ignorance break the sys- coholics. "Solution: stop parties, here. floor parties are forbidden} ... sounds ridiculous on a criminal tem down for the rest of us. then college students will stop And if we start making the best A building, any building (or record. Because it's the "stupid" or apa- drinking ..." of what we got, then we get writ- better yet, any structure assuming Enforce it though, and people thetic people's fault that we all have BULLSHlT!!! They will just ten up for "noise violation." the form of a building - four walls will just drink in secret (have you to suffer - both on the party side drink more. Set up dry dorms, and So we drink, because alcohol and a roof that is), open for any- ever heard of the Prohibition"). (no self-control), as well as on the they will get smashed off campus, can be absorbed in quiet. And we body, but run each weekend by dif- And they'll drink more than they control side (because prohibiting is come back, throw up (or not, and drink a lot. But how is it, that in ferent organizations - which would normally would, because they'll be the easiest solution to problems we have alcohol poisoning) and die in 90% of the cases it's the freshmen at one strike solve the problem of afraid that they have to "finish it are not willing to deal with). their rooms. "So stop off-campus ending up with alcohol poisoning responsibility and organization. off' so that they won't get busted Two more wisecracks before I parties too ... Stop parties alto- and not the upperclassmen'? "No money". (because it only counts in the hand, cut it: If you raise by punishment, gether, ban alcohol, prohibit fun, Blame the freshmen, blame the Then why don't we have and not in the stomach), or simply you teach to lie; and if you stop stop life on Planet Earth .. alcohol, blame peer-pressure, clubrooms operating at least one they 'don't know when the next beer in America - you kill sports AAAH!!!!." blame Canada, but in reality we all night on the weekend from 10 PM opportunity' will come. and social life. College smarts shining through for WMC's "Room 402" Brandi Thayer discusses there all night listening to them the "Room 402" fake ID ~~~u:n~~,:n serious. All that it was, VeryPr;:lt:V:e~~ e;:;~7:,t:~s~~a~;~ ~nu~~~i~~;~~~i=~O h~!:a~:~=: play, (common sense failed us as incident The portion of the flyers that hired Mike's band to play at their are smart enough to know, that if we put "partying" college kids It all began innocently enough. included the "Misdemeanor" were bar, knowing full well, that they you are not of legal age, chances around a fire) and we came to a Four guys. one band, and tons of cut out of the flyers, before being were not all the legal drinking age, are. you are not going to get into a general conclusion for everyone hype over a gig in Westminster. distributed on campus. But. it is and the crowd they were going to bar to drink. To sit there and hang there that night. Although there were no ~:~~i.a~~~ =i1~~;i~ltre~a~e~ nev~:~:t::::~nedited flyers that "We are officially outs~~=~~~\~:tati~ :~~'Mafia Sophia's signs or fliers thrown into Chi Sukosi, and Matt Schwaninger still got dispersed to our friends the most hated band Man to find us an endless supply the bonfire that night in protest or of "Room 402" promoted their who live off of campus, in of Fake ID's, there was no basis to riot, not only were the voices of band's gig for a week ahead of Westminster. At this point, Mike in Westminster! JJ the rumor that ~gotten out of Room 402 still heard. but the voices of th~' stucienis~(;f Western ~ ~~;di~f~On~~~2!:~ays; flyers and ~;I~~s:~:i~~~:~~:Yfl~!r~t~~ N~t~:.~~Room402~~~·~~~~~~;~~s:~;'~~:~d~ Maryland College were heard as Now, had there just been flyers' The.thing is, they.just gor out went back to the college to seek out well, loud and clear, cheering on with the gig time, date, and place, there, there was nO real way to stop being in, were not necessarily ei- the guys to find out why Sophia's the entertainment and business there would have been no problem. it,andwordofmouthis~"Orepow ther"'---...: _ felt the need to post a ridiculous, Sophia's lost that night, all in lieu But, it did not turn out that way. erful than any piece of paper. The Scheduled to play' from 8-mid- common sense sign. of some small, backless rumor. How funny would it be, to write other thing is, that Mike did not night, Mike received a call3""hour.& I found Mike lazing around "Bring your fake Hr'sl" on the bot- give out the unedited flyers on cam- before the gig was to begin, Sonny c-ampus, andatter learning the story tom of the flyers, before distribu- pus, he only put up the "good" fly- canceled out. told above, he'toIa me that the band STUDENTS: tion? Come on. We are college stu- ers in Blanche Ward, and person- I arrived at the bar around 10:30 was going to be playing at the up.......· D dents and we KNOW, that if you ally handed them to the guys on his p.m., to watch my good friends coming Homecoming Weekend 0 you ha...vea response to - any articles whIch-hav.e are going to get into a bar, it is not floor. play and shake their money mak- Bonfire. appeared in the Phoenix? I~ going to be through the use of a Still not happy about the rumor ers. Well. Never have I laughed so So take two, I show up at the fake 10, you're just going to walk that (god forbid college kids enter hard in the middle of a sidewalk as bonfire Friday night in time to If so let us know what you in, sit down and get served. a bar) the WMC Campus Safety when I pulled up to the front of hear ..." We are officially the most think, come to a Phoenix Word got around that everyone were going to come and invade the Sophia's. There, written on a big hated band in Westminster!" meeting. It is every should gather up their fake lO's, bar like a SWAT team, the owner, white sign were the words My mouth dropped open as I Monday night at 6 p.m. disperse them to their friends (as if known only to us as "Sonny," had "Tonight's Music Canceled. We didn't hear people agreeing with they have more than one, if they a few words to say. ''The liquor DO NOT accept FAKE 10'5." the band, but supporting them with The office is located ill the have access to any at all?) The ru- board's going to be on me like nics Duh. an uproar of cheers. They were basement of Rouzer, right mer wasn't vicious, hurting any- on shit," he said. How much do they think study- obviously not bad, as we alJ stood heside Rouzer lounge.