Page 167 - Phoenix2000-01

FEATURES Thursday, May 10,2001 - Page 15 Ask Kitty: G~od Advice and New Outlooks Given Here Your letter seems to imply thai love with broke up. told me that I'm not. about your friend, yourself, the SlajfWriler his "whining" is a recent develop- He probably really needs his Okay, here's the situation: I was guy; are you jealous, bitter, griev- There is no quick answer to any ment. Perhaps finding the root of friends right now, be there for him. sort-of hooking up with this guy ing,ctc ... problem, but sometimes a question, the matter will help in finding a and we were always together and You could be feeling a lotofdif- problem-or situation might come lasting solution. Dear Kilty, all. (knew he had a girlfriend, so I ferent things right now, in many up where you just have no idea, I've been dating this guy for 3 tried to get him to leave her for me. different directions. Try to recog- what to do. Dear Kitty, months. I'm 21 and he's 18 (a se- Well, to make it short, he wouldn't nize the multiplicity of your Write a letter, send it to Kitty My roommate just recently nior in high school). The other day leave her for me but wanted to have "upsetness." box 979, and maybe she can help broke up with his girlfriend and he asked me if r could see myself me anyway. My advice would be, before you out. Maybe not professional he's way down on himself. marrying him. I finally get over him and he making a decision on a course of counseling, but certainly a new He's mentioned suicide a l told him Iwasn't sure, (didn't breaks up with his. girl and now I action, if any, try to understand way to look at your problems, and couple of limes and he talks about know him well enough. He said l find out he's got a date with my your motivation. completely anonymous! how there will never be another don't need to know someone to friend. What are you trying to accom- love in his life. marry them, I just need to love Are you still with me? Anyway, plish? Would it work? Dear Kitty, Ialso think he might resent me them. my friend was always telling me It sounds to me like your friend My boyfriend of four years and for having a girlfriend and being I told him that made no sense how Iwas too good for this guy and should know already what she is Ihave been having some problems. totally in love with her. to me, that Idid love him, and that all that crap and now she's got a getting into. She did warn you af- I've been really stressed with my T don't know what to do. I feel Ijust need more time. So he broke date with him! terall. schoolwork and my finals. bad for him but he's bringing me up with me and vowed to never get How am I supposed to take Who knows what she is think- All he does now is whine about down. When the group of us go out married. what's.his deal? Did l do ,.!h_at? I'm quite offended by it, but ing or feeling right now. Why don't how he misses me, his job, and how anymore, he's always sighing and something wrong? r don't know what to do. I don't you ask her, or let her know how he hates living on his own. I want staring off into space. -Why do Ionly date crazy people even know exactly how to explain you feel, after you figure it out. She him to grow up and stop whining What can I do to help him with- what all I'm feeling.. might not even realize you are up- tome. out overstepping my bounds and Dear Why do I only date crazy ShouldI talk to my friend about set. I've been fighting with him without getting involved in some- people, it or just let her take her chances This whole situation is amuck. constantly and even when (tell him thing I don't really care to get in- I do not think you have done with him? None of the three of you are cast in that his whining annoys me, he volved in? anything wrong, and Ido not think -A little flustered a positive light. won', stop. -Just a guy with a girl that you think. that you have done You were messing around with How can I make him see that anything wrong. Dear Flustered, someone else's guy, he was cheat- he needs to grow up and stop whin- Dear guy, You were being honest with him A wise answer may be "girl, ing on his significant other, and ing to me about everything? It sounds like your roommate is and it looks like he just did not like you be trippin" but since I don't your friend is going on a date with -Annoyed and Lost going through a time of depression. your answer. What can you do? want to explain that, l'Iljust go into someone she thinks is no good. You may not want to get too in- r don't know what his deal is, the longer 'alternate version. I'm going to end by saying Dear Annoyed, volved, but helping him is impor- maybe he was scared, maybe he I think it is certainly advanta- these are all very unhealthy rela- It's good that you have been tant and necessary, especially ifhe didn't understand, maybe he's hurt geous to figure out how you feel. tionships, and everyone needs to clear and told him how you feel, is mentioning suicide. and doesn't know how to deal with Are you angry: at your friend, stop and reevaluate what they are but that's pretty much all you can Talk about suicide is often a call it, or maybe he's just immature. yourself, the guy; are you worried: doing with their lives. do. for help, something that shouldri't You can certainly ask him, but You can't make him see any- be taken lightly. do not let him cause you to think thing he doesn't want to see or Being there for him, especially you did something amiss. force him to stop whining. If you during this period of loss, is cer- You were telling him 'how you Ca¥nter, advisor to the JSU, was could, you probably would have tainly important, but I would sug- really feel, and it sounds like you abo in attendance. Many parent s dOnelliaratready;--- gest that he go talk to someone, like were really nice about it. also joined the students and staff You can only be honest, maybe a professional counselor. You can certainly try to work for the Seder meal. tel! him that yes you want to be Counseling is available free 10 things out with him, but if he in- Furthermore, in the photograph there for him, but just don't have students on the second floor of sists on continually having a per- that appeared on page J O. the stu- time to hear the long version until Smith House at ext. 243. sonal problem with your truthful- dent on the far right of the picture school is over, (only two more You should encourage him and ness and need for time, then maybe on the right is Catherine Gold. not weeks'). let him know that talking to an ex- he should continue having that Katherine Briggs. Hopefully, he will understand, perienced counselor may help him problem alone. Finally, some credit should be but even if he does not, you should sort out what he is feeling and prob- given to [hose who deserve it. not have to sacrifice your school- ably help him feel better. Kitty, Alison Kleiner coordinated theJSU work and final preparation time. And although it may "bring I'm really upset and I don't Seder dinner lind credit to the stu- When you do have some time you down," try to be empathetic. know what else to do. I feel like I The story said there were 22 dents' families who prepared the again, maybe have a talk and find Think about how you would feel if might be 'unjustified in my abies of guests, but in fact there food. Students involved with setup out what is really_ bothering him. you and the girl you are totally in upsetness, but several people have ere 23. Additionally. the staff and decorations for the Forum, in- Students share what they believe rom Sodexho Marriott served the cluding the three poster:'. mentioned in the story. include Alison Kleiner, eal, but did not make the food. nstead, the food was prepared by Carole Ricklis, Jenifer Sirkis. Dave Editor's Note: From after- he' families of the students in- Stysley, Cara Jacobson, Melissa is the greatest noon naps to slimmer block par- lieve that betrayal in a punk rock atti- olved with JSU. Blackwell. Gabe Shulman, Marcus I believe sin. ties, from 32-ollnce steaks to the Kleiner wishes to acknowledge Woods, Andrew Kern. and Lauri gift of vulnerability. WMC stu- tude in a world that champions ome of the guests at the dinner. Gann. and conformity. mediocrity dents share what thrills them in rovost Case, Dean Homeff, Dean this column titled "I Believe." And r believe that someday, ayre, Bobbi Ward, Ira Zepp, Dr. What thrills you? Drop off somewhere in this silly world I'm ernke. and Dr. Harlow. Dr. Becky some girl just in- your statements (100 words or going to meet to fall in love with a sane enough less) at the information desk in loser' like me. Decker. Write across the top: The Phoenix: "I Believe." bass player. I believe I am the Kris Sevil!ena world's greatest bass player. I believe in doing what you I believe in the love of my want as long as it isn't hurting Eric Brind' Amour family and friends and in giving anybody. I believe in other to people because I have so much. worlds and realities. I believe in I believe in my main man (believe in warm weather and the running through the snow bare- Jesus Christ. I believe everything, life that was gone all winter. I foot and playing drums to burn Mr. Rogers told me. I believe believe in walking, talking and off adrenaline. th<\t we're one big family in [his dreaming about how a perfect life I believe in lobster dinners, big crazy blue marble. I believe should be. 32-ounce steaks, midnight street that if everyone followed their I definitely believe that God hockey games and summer block hearts the world would be A-OK. is my guiding force in life. I be- parties. I believe in taking after- I believe in raving until 8 a.m. tieve in my grandparents, a clean noon naps by the "Pissing Rock." [believe in blatantly breaking un- room, and a good roommate. I believe in Jesus, Buddha, just laws. I believe that vulner- . Cadet Joseph Miller won jour awards (the mosl of any student) and being the world's greatest _ ability is the greatest gift. I be- Catherine Anderson al!~lIIal ROTC award.I' ceremony including the Pro/~·l'.for 01Military .'j'};'; '.'\<.J:)', /·'.ft\'. 'J\\'!\l f_;;il~:\;/; :11'..\,1,1,', \·I\J ..l\f.~:,'',fll'~{\l"<.l'1l''1\\1-)\''(,'''I\.A ~\hll. .lIm i b-tII'.I';'·~L·Jf~~·~~~~ t{~~I~,~\~~\~~~,1.fW~..,%;·~e\:l~~j~:~~,~~l:;~?~~i{.?[~11~~if~1