Page 116 - Phoenix1998-99

Thursday, February 18, 1999 - Page 8 Quirks: The Hot- Pink President most of all, by the media. Anne Butler points out And now, the press is showing similarities between the him as kind of a fake, or unreal, president and a toy. President. Just like the bootleg hot- pink Falcon, Clinton is now seen It's one of the most god-awful by many as a "bootleg President." ugly toys I've ever seen. While not obvious, other simi- The Star King LOyis literally a larities present themselves. pearlized, hot-pink colored plastic The hot-pink Falcon's battery Millennium Falcon with a Klingon case is a bit smail, so it might be Bird of Prey (also hot-pink) stu~k necessary to leave the cover off and on as a rear spoiler. have one of the batteries "hanging It has green, blue, and mauve in the wind," so to speak, while it clear plastic covering lights at vari- is running around. ous points around the toy. Similarly, Clinton has been Once you give it two AA bat- known to, ahem, have something teries, it will roll around on the open and "hanging in the wind," as The hot-pink bootleg toy: does it mirror the life of our President? You decide. floor, light up, and make "space" well. sounds. them, will be able to see the con- It lights up, makes science- another eight years, filling an in- Yes, the is one weird-ass toy, so, Yes, the is one nection there. fictionesque (if loud) sounds, and difficult role that of course, it reminds me of our Did [mention just how loud the will keep going for a long time on creasingly Americans would wish not to many randy president, Bill Clinton. weird toy, so, of sounds from this toy are? Once set only two batteries. have. Now hear me out. I'm not crazy course, it reminds off, the toy could probably wake Also, if it encounters an ob- (not in this area anyway). This toy the dead (or at least a hibernating stacle, a wheel in the front of the For these reasons, I have a fair edoesn't really have a very good im- me of our randy squirrel). toy will pivot and allow the FaJcon amount of respect for both Falcon. the President and the hot-pink age, does it? president, Also, Clinton can be quite loud to go off in a different direction in- They both survive the bad im- I mean, it's ugly as sin, and to at times and vocal about certain stead of getting stuck like some ages that they project or have pro- top it all off, it's a bootleg, a fake Bill Clinton. subjects, and some of his opponents other toys would. jected on to them. toy made by someone who doesn't would accuse him of waking Any child would love to receive Also, they are both unique in have the rights to make toys of that Once the batteries are in, and "dead" issues. this as a gift, and they would get a their respective worlds. The Fal- show, movie, etc. (in this case, it's the toy turned on, the Falcon starts Finally, the hot-pink Millen- lot of play out of it. con is an unusual toy, and Clinton a Star Wars and Star Trek boot- running around in an almost com- nium Falcon is advertised as hav- Akin to the Falcon, despite the is the first President to face im- leg). plex dance, going this way and that, ing "Bump and Go Action." coverage he's received, the things peachment since Andrew Johnson. Thanks to the recent Congres- dodging and avoiding things and Mr. Clinton has shown that he that have been written about him, Perhaps it's time we look be- sional proceedings, the President's recovering quickly if it does hit too has "Bump and Go Action." and the image he has, Clinton is still yond the hot-pink facade of these image is shot to hell, just like this something. However, despite the things a good President. two, and try to notice what's un- toy's image. Anyone who has seen Clinton's I've written about it, and it's im- He's achieved a number of derneath. Clinton's being portrayed badly performance on the Paula Jones' age, the hot-pink Falcon is still a things during his two terms, and Only then can we truly under- by the Senate, House, pundits, and, tapes, which have his testimony on pretty good toy. he's held the country together for stand them.