Page 178 - ThePhoenix1997-98

Thursday. May 7,1998 - Page 6 COMME"NTARY Staff Quirks: Friday Night in Do you l;Iave... Edltor-In-Chter Whiteford Lot - Kate Hampson '00 A nose for news? Managing Editor Opinions to make Emily Stamathis '00 Anne Butler writes about the the car, "l'H keep 'em busy while you go get known? Advertising/Business Manager dangers of drinking on-campus rid of it!" A flair for design? Laura Kelley '01 and driving. Maureen nodded and raced off to her News Editor room. Bryan ran off in the other direction, A head for bUSiness? Christian Wilwohl '98 waving at his friend as he went, "See ya later, "You're wondering how I ended up here, eli? bud. Sorry I can't go with ya." Assistant News Editor Well, it's a simpfe enough story. You've heard THE PHOENIX Erin Howard '00 Mark nodded but fumbled with his keys. it many times before I'm sure, and you're "Yeah, yeah, stupid jerk ... " he muttered to NEEDS YOU Features Editor gonna hear it again 'cause this damn idiot Nikki Belanger '98 himself. After a few tries, he'd managed to in the robe is making me tell it to ya. So shut get his keys in the ignition and get the car Assistant Features Editor up and listen. " started up. He backed up too far and hit the Nicki Kassolis '99 The following positions are Mark was feeling pretty good, the week car behind him. He pulled forward, drove Editorials Editors was over; he'd finished that fifty page paper out onto the road in a wide arc, narrowly open for next year: AdamDean'98 from hell, assigned by that idiot history missing hitting a street sign. Megan Martin '01 News Editor, teacher, Dr. Staff; he'd managed to avoid After a minute of driving, he remembered Art Editor getting a ticket from Campus Safety; and 10 tum on the headlights. Suddenly, he saw Assistant News Editor, Mike Puskar '99 he'd just been to a great party. another car coming at him; he swerved and He'd been lucky that the police hadn't Assistant Features Editor, Photographers careened into the side of the road. A tele- Nathan Birdsall '99 seen his less-than-great driving on the way phone pole seemed to jump in front of him. Assistant Commentary lose (Juba) Siqueira '00 back from the party. He'd been swerving all He managed to sober up enough to scream lessieWatts'98 over the road. He had managed to hit four_ and tum the car to the side, but by then it Editor, Sports Editor & Senior Writers squirrels, though. was too late. Carolyn D. Barnes '98 He pulled into a spot close to the left Assistant Sports Editor. lonathonShacat '98 "So that's why I'm here with this black-robed lenniferVick'98 basement entrance to Whiteford and turned guy with the scythe. You've heard off the engine. His girlfriend, Maureen, the story a million times, right? I told ol' Starr Writers kissed him and got out. Bryan, the couple's We also need writers, Eric Barry '00 skullface it wouldn 't be any use, you all don't lohn Burfield '00 mutual friend, had been riding in the back. care. You didn 'f listen to your parents, teach- photographers, and artists. Anne Butler '01 He jumped in front, causing the car to shake Richard Hamilton '98 and the bottles in the bottom passenger seat ers, or no one else, so why should you listen Jeremy Lepus '00 to me? Hell, I don't even care myself. So Call x8600 or email Sarah Radice '0 I to clink together. what if I drove drunk? 1 mean, getting some- JeniferSirkis '01 "You sure you don't wanna go back, Francesca Saylor '00 Maureen? There's still that one fraternity where, even if I'm 'intoxicated'is real im- phoenix@wmdc.edu Rich Simmons '99 portant. Even more important than my life, JessieWatts'98 party we could go to," Mark asked his girl- right?" for more information. friend. Distrlbulion Richard Hamilton '98 Maureen smiled and shook her head, Rich Suchoski '00 "Nah, I have to get up early for a meet to- morrow." She frowned a bit at a sudden Subscriptions Richard Hamilton '98 thought she had, "Are you guys going out to drink some more?" They both nodded. Graduate Advocate Maureen grinned, she'd expected that an- Vince Chesney swer, "Just be careful okay? I don't need Adviser Campus Safety busting you like they did Terry Dalton Steven Dreisher." "What happened to him?" Bryan asked, puzzled. The Phoenix is published biweekly. The Mark grinned hazily and looked over at opinions expressed do not necessarily rep- resent those of The Phoenix staff, the fac- his friend, "You didn't hear? That idiot got ulty, or the administrators ofWMC. tanked and was picked up by Campus Safety after they found him shouting curse words The paper welcomes free-lance submis- at the Christian Fellowship Happy Hour last sions on Macintosh disks in most word pro- Wednesday." cessorfonnats. Tbeeditor reserves the right Bryan shook his head, "Idiot." to edit for clarity, length, and libel and to A vehicle passed them. It read "Campus Safety." A radio blared from the open win- publish as space pennits. All submissions (excluding self-addressed diskettes) become dow of the car, "Roger that, we have a re- the property of The Phoenix and cannot be port of a violation in room B 18, that's a vio- returned. lation in room B18. We've been authorized Please include a name and phone num- to search." ber for verification. Names will be with- Any reply the officer in the car might held only by the discretion of the Editor-in- have made was drowned out by Maureen's Olief. shocked reaction. "Oh God! That's my room! They'll find everything!" The Phoenix does not discriminate based Mark looked at his girlfriend.quizzically, on age, race, religion, gender, sexual orien- "What do you mean? You ain't got any al- tation, national origin, condition of handi- cohol in there." cap, or marital status. Maureen glanced at him with panic in her eyes, "I have other illegal stuff besides alco- hol!" Mark grinned lazily and tried to focus on Mail to: his girlfriend. "You mean like halogen The Phoenix lamps, power tools, and stuff?" he asked jok- WMC, 2 College Hill ingly. Westminster, !\.1D 21157 "YES!" Maureen cried, entirely serious. She shot Bryan an accusing glance, "Why (41,0)751-8600 did Ilet you talk me into keeping your power saw for you?!" (410) 876-2055, ext 8600 FAX (410) 857-2729 Bryan sal up suddenly alert, "Dam! I E-Mail: pboenix@wmdc.edu forgot you had that!" He quickly got out of