Page 67 - ThePhoenix1996-97

COMMENTARY Thursday, November 14, 1996 - Page 3 LETTER To THE SOAPBOX THE EDITOR I Adam Dean I There words. than just Cats and small animals should be allowed in certain ally annoying is something that is re- more to a name are picked carefully me, and it isn't the These names sections of the residence halls SGA! Have you noticed the names to be as inoffensive They are try- to and easy and po- organizations of political support as possible. Many people have asked about fied by residence life staff, the pet or by giving them the option of re- litical rhetoric can be not only stu- ing to claim the moral high ground. the proposed pet policy, so I would shall immediately be returned 10 its fusing to give permission to their pid, but down right misleading? Don't lei them. be strong in your like to present it to the entire col- former residence. Owners must suite mate who wants to have a pet. "Marylanders Against Handgun convictions and tolerant of those lege community. I urge those of provide written proof that the pet It deals with the issue of fleas and Abuse" is a good example. This is who don't believe what you do. you who support this policy to has somewhere to go should it health problems by requiring peri- just an ignorant name. Is there any- Being tolerant of something does make your support known to the odic veterinary checks. Possible one out there who supports hand- not mean that you have to like it. President, Deans, and Residence This policy takes damage to furniture or living space gun abuse? Heck, I'm against There are attitudes, beliefs and Life staff of the college. It has been into consideration is handled by the deposit as well handgun abuse, aren't you? Of lifestyles I detest with all my heart said that it would be difficult to as by the college policy already in course this is an organization and all my soul. I do not like them. change the policy, but I believe that the concerns of place requiring occupants of the which considers owning a hand- But I tolerate them. I acknowledge with the support of the student living space to pay for any dam- gun to be handgun abuse, so go their right to exist and to believe body, anything is possible. The wople with age incurred. If there are problems figure. Why not just call them- as they see fit, without harassment policy has been revised several /allergies by with the animal, there are provi- selves "Marylanders Against Fire- on my or anybody's part. times to accommodate all of the sions for sending it home, and as- arms Ownership" or something in And to set the record straight, I feel concerns presented about this issue. allowing them to surance that it has somewhere to thai vein? It would be much more gun control is a simple solution for Cats and small animals should go should an emergency occur. honest. The same thing goes for the simple minded (I got that off a be allowed in certain sections of the either live in The policy answers each and ev- "Pro-Life" groups. Is anybody out bumper sticken) and I find abor- residence halls with suite living sections of these ery concern that has been brought there Anti-Life? I can just see it tion to a moral outrage. I would arrangements (Daniel McLea, Gar- to my attention, and I feel that it now, "Yes, I oppose life in all it's never have one. But since I am a den Apartments, Pennsylvania Av- buildings that do deserves to be considered as a vi- forms"!! man that really isn't a problem I'm enue houses, and the suites in not allow pets, or by able option for this college. I have heard politicians accuse likely to face, is it? ANW). The pets should be allowed Pets have been proven to help each other of being anti-education. I know this doesn't have very only with the permission of the giving them the people deal with stress and to aid Bullhockey! I don't think there are much to do with anything. I kind entire suite (in writing). All ani- option of refusing to in the emotional well being of hu- many people out there who are of just pulled this rant of mine out mals living on college property mans. There have been numerous anti-education. Saying that there of the thin air. I believe I was in- must have vaccination records filed give permission to studies detailing the helpfulness of has to be limit to educational spired by signs advertising a lec- at the college, as well as a veteri- animals to humans. This policy, if spending is not the same as being ture on child abuse. One of the nary check for fleas. If any dam- their suite mate who enacted, would be beneficial to all anti-education. speakers was from "Marylanders age is incurred to the furniture be- wants to have a pet. members of the community, and The truly sad thing about all Against Handgun Abuse" and Ijust cause of the pet, the owner shall be needs to be taken seriously by ad- this is that some poor people actu- felt that was an ignorant, insulting responsible (a refundable deposit cause problems in residential fa- ministrators. Once again, I ask ally are taken in by this crap. Wake name, a name that accused all those of 25-30 dollars will insure this). cilities. anyone who supports this policy to up America! Groups like "Mary- who felt differently from them- If a problem is called to the atten- This policy takes into consid- make it clear to the President, the landers Against Handgun Abuse" selves of being "abusers" of hand- tion of the residence life staff, an eration the concerns of people Deans, and the Department of and "Pro-Life" organizations want guns. I wanted to attend the lecture, inspection will be made to deter- with allergies by allowing them to Residence Life that this it is time to impose their own small-minded and to hear from all the other mine the truth ofthis objection. As either live in sections of these for change. moral judgments upon you! We speakers, but by injecting this po- soon as a problem has been identi- buildings that do not allow pets, .CarolynArney need to understand that there is Continued on page J 2 TALES FROM RE ALITY ------------------------------\I __~S~e~rg~iO~A~g~U~il~e~r~a~.lI---------------------------- __ Boys and girls ofWMCLand, I feet shape. You watch them on the all of them at the same lime - in tried it). say we should take all these TV beach, then you go to a mirror and order to look kinda like Pamela Nowadays you cannot go to a have. I don't know what happened critics and make meatballs out of take a look at yourself and the only Anderson or David Hasselhoff. If supermarket without finding most next with the man because one of them. They keep on saying that thing you can do is either complain you have just started doing that, products with "low-fat" labels. the cashiers started staring at me "Baywatch" is a bad show. Yes, to the one who made you for being some advice here: Stop it. Don't The other day I went to a mart and for some reason, then I felt nervous you know the show I'm talking unfair, or make some cuts in your even try it, eat an oily fattening saw a man who was big enough to and dropped a set of glasses which about; the series in which ex- skin so you can check if you are extra-cheese and pepperoni pizza be represented himself by two cost $40 a piece (why are all those tremely attractive persons in red something more than covered in a and burp later. There's no way you members of the congress. He cashiers so beautiful"). to make I'm trying The point show their extremely good acting bad wrapper, like in good candies. can look like them unless you bought a huge chocolate cake with here is that all the cashiers are skills by merely spending one hour (Not that I'm promoting any of spend five years of you life in a one of these labels on it. Obvi- a day running at the beach. them. They wouldn't work any- surgery center having breast im- ously he was on a diet. He prob- good-looking ...no wait, that wasn't I think it's a good show because way.}, plants for breakfast, like Pamela ably thought that he was only go- the point. The thing is that we think of the following reasons: I seriously believe that Anderson. ing to gain a couple of calories that we might look thinner if we eat a) It shows how miserable your "Baywatch" is actually a cartoon In the same way, I think that all these products. I guess this may be true according to low-fat prod- life is since those guys spend their ucts commercials, in which slim lives at the beach where it is sunny the whole year, getting tan, staring In the same way, I think that "Baywatch" is also responsible for and attractive persons suggest to us to eat these products if we want to at beautiful bystanders with bin- the increase of non-fat, low-fat products and all these different oculars and probably drinking pina look like them. Probably these colada with a little parasol in the kinds offoodfor diets that taste exactly like metal coins. products are usually consumed by cup. My idea of heaven is some- "Baywatch'' propagandists. I'd like to keep on making where like Venice beach where you philosophical and intelligent reflec- are drowning and an angel in red show and the protagonists are ho- "Baywatch" is also responsible for with the cake, and he seemed happy saves you saying something very lograms; there's no way they can the increase of non-fat, low-fat about it (how dumb!). The truth is tions on low-fat products, fat fel- sexy like: "Are you stupid?'. Don't be real! products and all these different that this cake had enough calories lows, pretty cashiers, and world you know you cannot swim Since this show has been on the kinds of food for diets that taste to feed a small country in Africa, peace, but I have to go pick up my here?!''' air, a lot of "Babewatcbers'' (sorry, exactly like metal coins. If you since the mart has thousands of pepperoni pizza. Don't worry, I'll b) It shows how miserable your think of those of you who care "Baywatchers") have been starting ever thought that your coins had these labels which are distributed physique is, since everyone in the diets, going to health clubs, and chocolate inside and tried to 'bite at random throughout all the prod- about your physique and are on a probably show is good-looking and in per- buying "ab flexes" - sometimes them, you know what I mean (Ijust ucts, no matter the calories they diet... I'll "Baywatch." eat it while watching