Page 24 - ThePhoenix1989-90

Page 41 Western Maryland Collegel October 12, 1989 Editor·ial Nostalgia Nausea Filling out applications to graduate schools and practicing (haha!) to take the Graduate Record Examination has left a rather nostalgic taste in my mind Where, dare I ask, has time gone? It seems that it was only four years ago when I was going through the same hyped-up but necessary nonsense. Once again, Imust write down my mailing address sixty-two times, as if they didn't already know it. I mean, how did they gel the applications to my mailbox in the first place? Then they require my permanent address (how about "Earth "1), my semi-permanent address, my mailing address, my parent's I------'====='--~~"'-~=:;=:':::==------ address, the address of the house they reside in, how long they've =,~~eifi~~:e~~~:~~.:~nP~:~~~:i~~~;,7e~~~;d~;L----- _J poop in our flower bed but quickly drag the dog away before we notice so we get it ali over our gardening shoes. Letter to the Editor Lest Iforget, my favorite question is, "Who should we contact in case you are suddenly taken ill?" How about the doctor, dummy?! That would be a practical start. methinks. The average WMC citizen For twenty football games (Terrornapper) going to do with And don't forget item number 6: Sex. If they're that curious, may not realize this yet. but a (two wins and eighteen losses, it? why not add two boxes to check off labeled "Y" and "N"; or a set tragic event has struck our cam- but who was counting?), Igot to Maybe we should all keep of boxes labeled "0", "1-4", "5-19", and "2(}+". And, then, in an pus. The Western Maryland be a respresentative of the foot- our eyes peeled on October 31. optional section,reguiated by the United States Department of Sta- Terrormascotcostumehasbeen ball team, as well as being able Maybe somebody should call tistics Code 315, Section J, "With Socks" or "Without Socks" and stolen. to scare little kids. that guy from "America's Most "Smoking" or "Non-smoking". Yes, it's true; the costume Itdoesn'tseem fair that the Wanted." Maybe the football I really have problems when it comes to deciding with which on which. two years ago, the custom-made, one thousand- team would be 5-0 right now race to identify myself. I usually wind up checking all of them, WMC cheerleading squad spent dollar combination of a tasma- if...well, let's not get carried since Ican hardly be described as "white." My hair is brown, my its entire $1000 budget. has dis- nian devil and Oscar the Grouch away. eyes are green, my shorts are blue, my teeth are yellow, and there's appeared. (what did you think a Terror In any case, the pathetic a red blister on my butt. . This disturbs me person- was? No, it doesn't look like buffoon who stole the costume But !hen it's time for the self-evaluation. They start to weed out ally, because I was the Terror that rabid tiger on the GLAR should remember this: no one is candidates with such probing essay topics as "Describe yourself." forthelasttwoyears. Yeah. that trays) is really gone. impressed by your childish What am I supposed to put? "Sometimes when I sleep my was me, nearlypassingoutathot Where is the Terror any- prank, you measly amoeba. mo..,uthhangs open and I diool all over my pillow and it crystallizes games, being trampled on by way? Is it lying on a cold base- Bring the Terror back. One onto my face but I relate well to people." CoachSpmgue'skids,anddoing ment floor? Is it being used for day soon, we're going to catch And to finally separate the curds from the whey. they ask the Strip Tease with the where- a bizarre sex ritual? Did it run you with green fur in your teeth, questions like "Why?" and "What does the telephone pole?" are-they-now? WMC Pep Band. off with the Maryland Terrapin? pal. Whether you are preparing for graduate school or future em- But you know what? I loved But the big question is, se- ployment, or fall into the category of interested pre-senior, you being the Terror. riously, what is the kidnapper Mary Basehoff must be wary of the power of these applications to lift you out of f-------------------------- your rose-colored stained glass dorm room and to transpon you into the "real" world. Winegrad Adresses Environmental Concerns In that future realm,as you gorge yourself on Stouffer's, or get your fill of Mrs. Paul (sounds like Mr. Betty Lou or Aunt Jim), By Andrea Covington sub-committee on the environ- sapeake Bay commission. you'll remember Glar ever so fondly. ment, as well asa member of the Inhisspeech,SenatorWine- Bewarned: lherewillbereal"collegebookstores"and"physi- OnWednesday,September State Water Quality Advisory grad relayed several environ- cal plants." No longer will your budget permit such frivolous 27, Western Maryland College -Commiueeandthe'Iri-state.Che- Continued on page 6 college expenditures as the $43.95 sports edition extra pure poly- welcomed one of its alumni, ,--7::"7"""--------....:.-----, ester WMC hooded sweatshirt. Senator Gerald Winegrad, to W Instead, you'll have to settle for the 12-dollar Toughskin McDaniel Lounge to present a '" sweatshirt version, imported from New Jersey, and attach a 99¢ speech on environmental con- Editor-in-Chief Bob Brown WMC bumper sticker to your chest. cems. About 100 students, fac- Business Manager Stefanic R.Shaffer On the bright side, you won't have to wait four weeks for ulty, staff, and neighbors of the Copy Editors Julie E. Baile. Meg Gobrecht physical plant to fix your leaky shower. Now, you can wait four college attended. Sports Editor Steve Harlan weekstofixyourownleakyshower. Whatwasonceembiueredim- Senator Winegrad, who Photography Editors Helen Lowe, Jon Marsh patience has blossomed into practical procrastination. graduated from WMC in 1966. Cartoonists Erik Siano, Kellie Marsh Ah!(sigh) It's time to come in from my stroll down premoni- commented on the changes in Production Assistant Michelle Kloss tion lane. As much as I want to getaway from here. I really don't his alma mater, such as alcohol Reporters J. J. Boggs, Matt Byrne. Andrea Covington, want to leave. This place has grown on me. son of like a mole: at in the residence halls and a win- Grant Disharoon, Steve Harlan, Juan Hidalgo, Michelle Kloss, first, it's annoying and disfiguring, but soon it becomes an insepa- ning football team. Andrew Krevclin, Mike Kubacki, Ed Rigling, Todd Robb. Lee rable part of your character. A member of the Maryland Spector, Wendy Ruderman It would not be unbearable to stay awhile longer to indulge in State Senate, Mr. Winegrad Advisor Dr. Pamela Regis the idiosyncracies ofWMC. Take, for example, borrowing musty, originally entered the Maryland old books from Dr. Hartman, books that are like Pandora's box GeneralAssemblyin1978,when The Phoenix is a biweekly publication of Western Maryland which release thousands of tiny. sweet pipe-odored demons when he was elected to the Maryland College. The opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those opened. House of Delegates. In 1982,he of the administration. Editorials are me responsibility of me Or the ever-enjoyable kiss of the 2000-volt static electric ogre entered the State Senate. Editor-in-Chief. Letters to the Editor must be one page, typed, I that surges through your pelt whenever you try to drink from his Throughout his career, double spaced, and signed. Include a phone number for 1 water fountains in Memorial. SenatorWinegrad has been most Address all mail to: The Phoenix verification. And we can't neglect the impromptu midnight tea socials on notable forhis work on environ- President Chambers' lawn. mental protection. He is cur- Western Maryland College Yes, leaving is a dirty job, but somconc's got to do it. renuythechaupersonotthe.Stare LW::;e"s!!!Un!!!jn",sle~r.. M~D-=2.!.;1l,,5!..7 __J