Page 27 - ThePhoenix1988-89

October 27. 19881Western Maryland College/Page 7 Bob Brown Rape Myth #12 hh1h;.AII men are capable of rape under the right circumstances. "Glarbage" Revealed EGllThe majority of men find the Idea of rape as repugnant Men who rape tend to 98e women as and vile as women do. sexual obJects rather than as real people with rights and feelings. They often continue to rape whenever they see an opportunity and do not stop unless they are reported to the police and prosecuted. GLAR. We all complain you college kids have food fights? For help or more information, call the Rape Crisis Intervention ... about it, but nothing gets done about it. We complain amongst ~~,~~ew~ ~: t~ c~~ ~~~ ~s:.:rv:~:··:0u~H~~~~~rvN~ic:~~~~~'.~f~~·;~24~ao~~~~~~~~1~U,~iri:S~S~7~~·~:~"=fid:.:",:;a:1.~ ourselves, but the GLAR Gauchos We'd only have to come into work r- never hear us; the Napkin Com- for two hours a day if we didn't SWAMI TOMMY: Metaphysical Information Service ment Board (remember that?) ex- have to constantly wipe up after For informative message call Swami Tommy: 301-898-5180 ists no longer. I guess they have to you." conserve somewhere. Besides, "Well, I can't say that there's Natal Chart with Report (Frederick, MD) complaining about GLAR seems any justification, but there are some so trite-it's old news. Everyone days when the most reasonable dish ~~~r::~t~=::nsonReport~' does it, so why should it take up is the meatloaf. You take it to your Sexual Profde Report - space in the paper? Maybe the seal. at the table and start weeping, Numerology Report GLAR folks can read ..J mean, saying: 'I know this Loaf. All my Biorhythm Report I- • maybe the GLAR folks will read reincarnated buddies are in it: I-Ching ~ . _ . this and finally have documented Yesterday's tacos, last week's BZ, proof that things aren't as good as and last month's chicken wings. I "'Private or Group Consultations *20+ Personal Reports from $15 they believe. (I didn't mean to can't eat this. It's morally wrong.' imply back there that the GLAR And you decide that the most noble people couldn't read, for I'm sure thing to do with it is tcputhtc some that four years of college with a academic use and to test its aerody- major in Meal Programming and a namicity." minor in Creative Vegetable Mix- because Iswear I've seen that same The interview basically ended ing are prerequisites for cafeterial pan there day after ~day. I mean, there, with Miss Eggplant mum- management) But saying that have some respect for the dead. bling something to the effect of makes me think of something. We Contrary to popular belief, fish is how Satan had taken over the stu- should have Meal Programming not like good wine; it doesn't get dent body and was keeping us from courses here at Western Maryland better the more you let it sit. putting our used silverware in the tofulfillourhumanities 8LAR's. The milk. Now here's a seri- ~. !::~~~~~~::~~::~~:;~:::;::! (Vb oh. BLAR. GLAR. Gasrro ous problem. How many times If you, themanagersinGLAR, Liberal ArtsRequirements. Iknew have you gone to a meal to find the have failed to see what this article is something smelled fishy.) mechanical cows udderly empty? hinting at, let me offer a few point- But I'm being unfair. There Mostofuscanrelatetothis.Igelup ers. Make sure there are enough are some people who thoroughly by 8:30 A.M.. each day to get a napkins, clean (as opposed to enjoy me dishes served here. Some lukewarm breakfast, and half the fuzzy) silverware, and drinks. You even like me food on those dishes. mornings, there is no milk. I had know how many people arc on the (Would all those who like the food gotten sick of putting Coke on my meal plan, and keeping extra sup-- please raise their hind leg.) And FruitLoops, sooneday, Ipuree my plies around can't be too hard. And there are a few other Salad-and- journalist's cap and went back into the food-quite a bit has been said Cereal camels who trudge through the catacombs ofGLAR to investi- already. (Oh, if you decide to put I.hC arid weeks of bad food and gel garethetackofmilk. Iencouruered worms in the soup--do you mink by on croutons and their sugary the GLAR Guy and put the ques- I'mjoking?-give us a liule warn- L.l_'£!!§!2!:!!.!!~~~~~~~!!!!~~_l_J cousins, Captain Crunch, alone. tiontohim. TheGLAR Guy say, he ~;~I~:~~:I~~:.,~)s~~~f~: ,...... ....., But those dromedaries of diet sa)" "We·a no 'spect all deeza aren't really such a rare breed. peoples show uppa today." theme days-''Let's have a theme Can:'" ~ounty YMCA or GREATER BALTIMORE - Westminster How about Upper Siobovia? day. Branch - 11 Longwell Ave Quite often, when the trough looks But this whole issue is two- u n;nviung, I find myself loading sided. Far be itfrom me to not give Nab. Hawaii?"-what are you up on the Crunch. If you are what equal time to both sides. So, in the guys trying to do, ease your con- you eat, then I'm not Captain spirit of objective journalism, I sciences? If the food was consis- mornings) Crunch, I'm probably Brigadier decided to interview an employee tently good, theme days wouldn't General Crunch. of Silo's Dining Service, a Miss be necessary. But as long as we're Gymnastics teachers needed at Robert Moton and Sc1JOoJs But I'm being critical; I'm not EulaliaEggpiant, to find out.how a on the subject, do you remember Caqol!towne Elementary Instructor must have offering any practical advice. Ican typical cafeteria worker views the the Hawaiian dinner? We were ~~~~~~~rh~~~~cif~~~j~n~ffi~:~ca~ ~:~~~~round in hear my mother saying: "Now, college crowd. served fried bananas while hun- Bobby, if you can't say anything "Miss Eggplant, as you are dreds of fresh pineapples were ~;::;;;,a/;;'~(3;;O~l);;8;;7 ..;;1;;19;;4;;M;;o;;n.-;;F;;n~·.t;;ro;;m;;9.:;;.OO;;A;;M;;-:;;8';;OO;;p:;;M;;,,;;a;p;ply;;~ nice.don't sayanything arall." My probably aware, the students here jeck-o'