Page 10 - TheGoldBug1955-56

K Young College Girls' SeIF-lmprovemen~ Department. Circling The Hill E Gipe Comments On Carriage By William F. Muhlen/eld, Edit(Yf FeatuTo E We note with regret that one of Westminster's P P And Bearing For Females leading dispensaries of beer and pretzels is re- tiring to the sidelines for a period of ninety days. I 0 By George A. Gipe While the reason for this temporary demise is with Several years ago, I became acquainted NS two girls. The first, whom I shall call Patty 0., hcp-scqtch without a heel! difficult to ascertain, word has it that the owner is planning a trip to Annapolis, where he will D. This young lady's right leg is about three G T was a tender morsel of womanhood. She had feet longer than her left one. No remedy. study in the Senate Library. His subject: Regu- of tke Sale and Distri- Concerning latory Prnciicee E.\ The girl in the diagram has real trouble. large, myster-ious blue eyes, silken hair, and a Beverages in the State bution of Alcoholic E mouth that could both entice and utter intelligent Send' your contributions to THE GOLD BUG, Maryland, Section 19, paragraph gA, which clo The Staff. things. South of the neck,' she stacked up well D also. Yet there was an air of something missing THE CORRECTMETHOD states, "It is unlawful to sell, loan, andlor do- 21 under nate alcoholic beverages to persons Let us say that you have overcome any bad about Patty. She walked with an unsexy slouch. walking habits that you may have had. Now years of age for purposes of internal or ex- Even now r can still recall the fellows standing you're at the stage where you can begin culti- ternal consumption, resale, or redistribution." Coming Home on a corner near the gin distillery ,remarking vating a sexy walk. And briefly, here is the Then there was the timid freshman who in- Thcre's an expectancy in the air-a great day sadly on Patty's single failure. "A beautiful best way to do it: _ quired, "Who are the Neat Guys-the Semi- 1. Th~ next time you step out, imagine a per- coming-the first major event of the college girl," they would agree. "If only she didn't fectly :;tr,jght line stretching in front of you; nary students?" Come to think of it, there is year-Homecoming 1955. have that unsexy slouch, I'd date her in a sec- concentrate so hard that you actually believe the some doubt as to precisely who the Neat Guys To the class of '59, it's the long-awaited free- ond." line is thhe. actually are, but they are indeed a group of dom from bondage-the day the beanies are un- Barbara Q., the second girl, was not S'O 2, Then place the left foot squarely on this great prestige and impor-tance, And to the best shacked and rat rules die a quick and unmourned beautiful as Patty. She had a receding forehead, line. (If you do not have a square left foot, place of our knowledge (and we cannot be specific on death. But even more, to the freshmen the cam- and what hair she did possess hung down in this) they are not the Seminary students. pus becomes alive with an excitement different stic!ry strands, like a mop that has seen service it the best\way you can.) 3, While balanced in this position, gracefully on a large puddle of chocolate syrup. A\ livid from any other heretofore exper-ienced. swing your hips as far as they will go toward And who was the absent - minded professor The pom-poms, the parade, the Homecoming scar ran diagonally from her lc:ft cheek to her the extremJ right. who, having used a particular text for a number beauties, the snappy rythmn of the Dri!l Team, right knee. She could speak only in monosylla- 4. Then swing them back to the left. of years, loaned his copy to a student so that the displays bearing confident tidings of the bles, and her eyes wore an impenetrable black. 5. Once again, please. she might prepare for one of his examinations, afternoon victory a.t Hoffa Field (How could Black eyes are all right in their place, mind you, and then promptly forgot the name of the book? our team do anything but win?) if YQudon't go to extremes. Barbara not only ;: ~;:;i:U~. There must have been a feeling of great had black pupils and black irises, but also black All this is Homecoming-old stuff to sopho- 8. Keep swingin' 'em, kid. ignominy on his part when he had to call up mores, juniors, and seniors. and yet ever new. retinas and corneas. It was awful. 9. Don't give up. You won't gct to class this Blanch Ward and inquire of the young lady, A sentimental time perhaps. The Class of '56 Yet, with all this, Barbara had a date every way, but some. man is bound to notice you. If he "What is the name of our text? It seems to have suddenly realizes this is it. And the next Home- night, sometimes two. Once a young man had doesn't, you'll just have to fall back on Barbara slipped my mind." coming will be a very real one. seen her walk down the street in her own par- Other, older classes, alumni now, return. ticularly sexy fashion, he became mad with de- Q, Crude, but the best way after all. We' observe with interest the dispatch in College friends meet at the football game, in sire. which ROTC drills are conducted these days. Before you learn to walk with new allurement, Letters ... sorority and fraternity open houses or in the BADJJABITSIN WALKING Everyone must shape up in this new regime, from the colonel to the lowest private. Inspec- Grille. New husbands, wives, children are intro- tions come thick and fast, and there is strong . duced to "my alma mater". This is a time of you must first discard any bad practices that . to the Editor sympathy for the harrassed squad leader who "Remember when ... " you may have built up over the years. Spirit is up. We're celebrating! And the GOLD Study Figure Only, which illustrates several was heard to remark last Thursday afternoon BUG, too, has caught the Homecoming spirit. Six un~exy methods of walking which are daily ex- To the Editor of the GOLD BUG: after his-boys had endured no less than six in- spections, "Now that the brass is satisfied with full pages just for Homecoming! hibited by thousands of sloppy women in our The membership of Alpha Gamma Tau con- your appearance, maybe I can find time to teach Yes, it's a wonderful time. A time to fill our country today. These are not merely theoretical elders the references made by Leslie E. Werner, you something!" But this was not to be. Dan scrapbook of memory. flights of fancy, but authentic data stolen from Jr., about its recent pep rally in his column in Moylan wandered by and conducted a seventh government files. .- the October 11 GOLDBUGextremely regrettable. inspection. of a girl with a faulty A. This style is that THE GOLD BUG knee joint, After several eenventiqnal steps, her We should like to point out that Mr. Werner is For the record, it is not true that Hal Atkin- unqualified to speak on behalf of the fraternity Olli.i ..1 studenta newapa.per of Western MarYland Col_ right leg from the knee down rotated 180 de- and that, fiom the standpoint of his apology, son is the official Terror of Highway 101. It is leg~, published ~emi_monthJy on Tuesday, during October. grees, with the result that her feet were pointing Alpha Gamma Tau feels that none is in order. true that he wears black denim trousers and Nov~mber January. Feb.uuy, March and April, and in opposite directions as she progressed forward. It is our firm conviction that the "adverse monthly durinli: September. D~""",ber, ..nd May. Entered motorcycle boots and a black leather jacket with U se