Page 55 - TheGoldBug1951-52

The Gold Bug, May 20, 1952 atharsis Conquers On Anticipating Snallygaster Exits rs. Anthony . lhe Approach As A Freshman "Catharsis! Catharsis!" she scream- Of Exam Week by Archibald S1Lallygaster, '55 I at the top of her lungs-"I must Ha! Ha! You thought I was kicked five catharsis". "All right, little In the air is an odor of doom. The out, didn't ya ? Well, I wasn't! I just irl, sit right down here and tell Mrs. atmosphere in the dorm is charged haven't written any more because r nthony all about it. Yes, dear, just with nerves, tension, term papers, and was hurt. Hurt to the core! I'm glad nything that comes to your mind. a semester of back work. My eyes are he's gone, that last editor, I mean. ou're looking rather nice today, you bloodshot from por-ing through Con- Here I would sit up all hours trying now-that new weird hairdo is most temporary Lit novels, and my hand is to write what he asked for, and then ecoming, but how do you sleep on paralyzed from pushing an over- when it was printed I hardly recog- ? Ah well, just go right ahead and worked pen. From some remote part nized it. Three-quarters of it would emember that we're all in this thing of the building I hear a blood-curdling be cut out. gether!" cackle. Underneath a scream floats I asked him why, and he said, to my ears. A wild giggle above , Bridge Solves All thumps to the floor in uncontrollable "After all, Snallygaster, I asked you She sat down-c-or- rather, collapsed spasms. Various and sundry visitors for an article, not an opus in three then looking up at me with charm- burst in tearing at hair, and voraci- volumes. There are a few other things ng bloodshot eyes, she began to ne- ously consume fingernails, cookies which must appear in the paper." I ate all negations, but strangely did and cigarettes. My neighbors start almost asked him just what that opus past experi- lOt leave thc impression of positivism. 'crowing Carmen and I myself begin meant but, remembering well enough to decided ences, let Can't sleep-just stare-c-ob, inky to feel berserk. alone. 1 haven't had time to look it lack, black, black eternity in a Just in time, the "psychological up. From the tone of his voice, maybe' .acuum. My room, my room----dust on break" arrives. Dinner will offer he floor, on the bureau, cmpty coke sweet relief from abnormality, I as- I ~etter not look it up. iot.tles, cigarette butts, dead cor- sure myself. But ah, the snakepit was I just decided I would retire from Jeane Hoyt, Ina Grice, Betty Callendar 'ages, clothes to iron and books-s-ever never like Science Hall! While some the public eye. And then SHE came nvake--deaf-mute, ego tis tic a 1 stand motionless with an empty blank into my life! The new editor, I·mean. by Jeane Hoyt by Na._ncy Ned ·tretching greedy pages over the stare, others howl and overrespond She came up to me, smiled so very Ina Grice, often called "Ine", or The young lady you've seen dash- ridge from the past to the future. till the clothesr aek vibrates. As the sweetly (not like that other bird) and more formally, "Mary Ina", has been ing into the Grille on Friday nights, eople to see, places to go, no summer door falls to, mob hysteria breaks out. said, "Mr. Snallygaster, I hate to missed around the campus recently. giving a short blast on her whistle rob and what is love? Oh, tell me 1, 2, The few unfortunates who are calm, impose on your good nature, you've She has been busily uspiring others in and bidding a quick good-bye to Otts ,-I'll write to Einstein-no cool and adjusted crumble beneath the been so very kind to us this year; the techniques of volleyball, softball, ---of football fame-is "Miss Hoyt" ime for music-sweet, soothing- trampling horde. At the table the but our readers have been requesting tennis, and the like. Yes, you've (only to those high school girls she omfort me, the beast-no time for maniacs gobble the victuals like starv- another article. Do you think you could guessed it. Ina's a future "coach". recently taught). To her many possibly find time to do one for our rt-c-keep smiling, Mona 'Lisa-are ing bears and keep waiters in an end- last issue? We have six pages to fill! Often she has been seen out on the fr-iends on the hill she's known as' aU smiles secrets, really? Will it be a less relay. Compensation for frustra- I'd appreciate it so much." Now who hockey field, a field on which she truly Jeane. One of the few girls who has B or a C1 I cannot see why a C should tion in the form of calor-ies is the could say no to that? She left the excels, or perhaps on the tennis court, won her National Referee's Rating fellow-sufferers. diagnosis, be a C when a point from the powers topic to my "discretion". By her tone, or maybe the golf course. Nor is her during her junior year, Jeane is that be could make it be a B, which as Back in the dorm, hidden talents I knew it was nice-not like the tone ability superior to her sportsmanship known throughout the county for her you can see, it really ought to be. crop out uninvited. Violent ukelele con- of "opus=-c-so I looked it up. as evidenced by her election to the excellency in officiating girls' basket orgies, and resemble paragoric ccrts What is just? Do you say justice the hallways resound with spasmodic My discretion leads me to reminis- presidency of the W.A.A. this year. ball games. same way you think it? At any rate, Charleston sessions. One of the most to reme--to recall my year's experi- For those who may not have seen Phvs Ed, Bio Major it is not just that I should tell you all disturbing tendencies of these trying ences. I'm real sorry that it's nearly her on the "tockey field, I'm sure no No doubt you have guessed that my troubles. But I do feel much bet- times is the appearance of vicious over, except for the tests, getting up one has missed watching her take the Jeane is a physical education major. ter. Thanks. Think I will go over to behavior, "Shut up", "Pipe down." at dawn, studying at night, bolting lead on the football field with her She also has a major in biology. An the Grill and play bridge." And out and ·)0%$* in unmannerly tones are my meals, chasing to classes, keeping twirling baton and trim looking out- education student, Jeane plans to she skipped leaving me immersed in accompanied by showing of teeth and my ROTC equipment in order, being fit. You've guessed it again. She moved teach, if that doesn't interferc with the B-C relationship. book throwing. Bear up fellow luna- scared half to death when bOl1~bsex- through the ranks during her under- more important plans. to years classman become captain tics! Much blood, sweat, and tears plode near me in the dorm, and a few Catharsis Overpowers All other things which have interrupted and leader of the majorettes in her Jeane came to Western Maryland will be shed in the next few days, but from Montgomery Blair High School My calm, little co~nseling head was the nightmare will soon be over. We my preferred manner of living. senior year. And mighty proud of her in Silver Springs, where she became going in circles-then up from the can stowaway those strait jackets No Tears for Hoffa Field are we, her fellow cl.assmen of WMC. interested in sports and decided to and was Ina hails from Baltimore chair 1 leaped and pounded on the fOl" another half year-and there's a I'll miss my roommate, too. I'll graduated from Notre Dame of Mary- make her career in that field. She has nearest door, shouting-"Catharsis, whole summer to regain sanity. have to wear my own ties, gravy and land where she made a mark for her- taken an active part in the girls' ath- catharsis, I must have catharsis." J. A. letic program at WMC, having been all. I won't miss marching around self in the field of swimming. She Hoffa Field twice a week with my was later graduated from the Na- on the 'Women's Athletic Association The Night , Spent With Television rifle, though. The only pleasure that tional Aquatic School and puts her board for three years and played on ball, volley ball, the hockey, basket gave me was when the Band played. talent to good use during the summer By the WP.y,speaking of the Band, I when she acts as swimming instruc- and soft ball teams all four years. I must confess that like other peo- ping them on the heads of the specta- hope somebody told them the time to tor for the Red Cross. The only girl at WMC who has ple 1 enjoy watching television, but tors below. There were loud explo- practice the Star Spangled Bowner is It has often' been said that Ina been engaged for four years, Jeane without a doubt this enjoyment is sions in the dark and terrifying not when the unit is half way up the was born with a mind for figures. still says "I don't know", when asked causing me no end of trouble. Take screams from the human targets, but hill. I nearly broke my neck snapping The reason. she is always in the date of her marriage. Otts Shearer last Tuesday night for instance. Mil- no one dared leave his seat. to atten~ion. It would have been bad charge of money for some organize- is the lucky guy in this case. He got ton Bai-le was due to appear on his Since there was no more space in cnough If they had gone on and fin- -, tion. As former treasurer of the the hooks on Jeane early in the game. weekly prog rum. Because our family the living room, I stepped out on the ished it (althou?,h it'~pretty hard to W.A.A. and present treasurer of the Plans are in order for wedding bells is small, 1 had no trouble securing a front porch, out this too was crowded. s~and at attention With one foot up Phi Alpha, she has clearly demon- to ring at Uniontown, Pa. (Jeane's front row seat. But shortly ther~after At least twenty five of the neighbor- hill and the other foot down), but strated that her ability stretches present home) sometime this summer. and approximately ten minutes before hood offspring were gaping through they kept on trying it, starting and further than the athletic field. A faithful member of Phi Alpha the program, Aunt Esther barged the porch windows at the television. stopping. Guess we'd have b.een there In spite of the active life this trim Mu sorority, Jeane also belongs to through the front door. Of course she Ice cream, cundy, and licorice were yet except ~ome officer, dashmg a few blonde leads, she always has time for Tri-Beta, F.T.A. and W.A.A. Shc was surprised when Mother told her being liberally smeared over the en- fect at u. tune between phrases, must that morning cup of coffee in the served as vice-president of W.A.A. Berle was'about to appeal" (she had tire exterior of the house. 1 forced a have said something. Don't know Grill, or for a step-by-step descrip- this year. Although Jeane's participa- bcen surprised last week at the exact way back into my home and bulled a what it was-probably wouldn't make tion of some incident in her busy life. tion in extracurricular activities has same time and each of the cight path to the kitchen. In contrast to the any difference cause I don't guess And speaking of incidents, a big one been above par, she has not let her weeks previous to that). She had been exterior the interior was choked with we'd be able to print it anyhow. just happened a few weeks ago, namc- studies down, as one can easily see passing by and thought she'd drop in heavy smoke from pipes, cigarettes, I'll miss the sweet tones of my ly, the acquisition of a diamond from by looking at her academic record. for u minute or so. Like "or so" hab- and cigars, and on the walls the soft French teacher, "Bon jour, Monsieur, a very lucky guy at home. Jeane says her greatest achievement itu~lly means until the end of the peach tone of the wallpaper was ir- comment aUez-vous ce matin?" But it .. Yes, I'm sure you'll all agree that was the A she made in bacteriology program. regularly interrupted by volleys of will be u relief not to hear the pro- Ina stands "High on the Hill". last semester. tobacco splats. In the kitchen the fessor across the hall cause my guilt Some of Jeane's hobbies are tap The Problem of Aunt Esther guests who had arrived too late for complex with the. usual, "Say now, dancing, knitting big sweaters, and Well, because Aunt Esther is my seats were taking food from the ice young man, would it be possible for by Da.die Davi8 collecting footballs bearing the ini_ elder, I was obliged to give her my box, eating some themselves, and tak- you to arrange your affairs so that Picked up by police at the age of tials "0. S." With her pep and energy, front row seat, but she is also my ing the remairtder into the living you could arrive on time for class?" two! But they brought the little ~una- it's a sure bet that she'll achieve suc- heavier, and :f.l'Qmbehing her bulbous room to be sold to those spectators Th'ere's one thing I can look back way home, and 'tho Betty's been law- cess in whatever she attempts in the figure I could see nothing. Her but- who refused to relinquish their seats upon and find it hard to explain. abiding ever since, she hasn't resigned futUre, and she'll always remain tocks hung over the sides of the chair under any circumstances. When I first came up here, J thought herself to a quiet, inconspicuous life. "High on the Hill". like foam ovcr the edge of a glass of Suddenly, the front door burst college was the strangest place and Our little cheerleader Captain has beer. open, and three firemen in full fire the people seemed so odd, but now I spurred our teams to victory many There was nothing left to do ex- fighting equipment rushed in. They never seem to notice anything so un- times, and we think she may judge porch, since her room is practically on cept go to the kitchen and get another were immediately followed by four usuaL I guess that's education, you her success in this office by the suc- it, but she's found that the location chair, and since we were fresh out of ,policemen and two members of the live like the Romans in Rome. What cess of our athletic program this year. has its advantages and disadvantages. periscopes, a telephone book to place homocide squad. worries me is: aren't they as crazy as Betty's not only a whiz on the sidc Mop-shakers sometimes hear, just as 011 the chair. By the time I returned The police quickly cleared the I thought they were, or have I gone Jines. She can shoot a pretty basket the window is shut, "The dust! It's from the kitchen, four more neighbors house, and while they searched for a crazy with them? and play a good game of tennis her- coming right in here!" and their children had entered. They dead body, the firemen looked for a Isn't life strange? When that other self, and she has her girl's Athletic had been just passing by and thought fire. Evidently a passer-by hearing guy was editor, I had so much to say Award from High School, and her The Hour Bridge Allotement they'd drop in. I wanted them to pa~s the bursting light bulbs mistook them that he just chopped it to pieces. Now Western Maryland M to prove it. Be- She daily allots one hour to bridge out or drop dead. Now it was only two for pistol shots and called the police I can fill six pages, and I'm stuck! i tween SpOTts she keeps in shape (as -a half-hour right after supper, and minutes until the beginning of the while someone else seeing the smoke just can't think of another thing to if she needs to!) by simonizing Ernie's another half-hour after ten. Some- show, nnd people began to rush pouring from the house, called the say, except that exams are upon me convertible to keep it shining for times she foregoes the bridge to take through the door and seat themselves firemen. again. Lightnillg never strikes twice those trips to Indiantown Gap. a car load of hungry girls to Frizell- before curtain time. Mother attempted r apologized to the police for the. in the same place, they say; so, since Betts hails from Franklin High in burg for a late snack. She can always to make introductions, but when she Jack of a murdered body and to the it l)it me in January, maybe I'll be Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey, be torn from her books for a practical realized that over half of our visitors firemen for the lack of a fire. They missed this time. where she was on the Student Gov- joke, and now niter four years, she's were strangers and nearly one fourth were rather indignant but accepted My pop told me that I will have to ernment and President of the Girl's becoming quite adept at interior dec- of them foreigners, (you see news my apology and reluctantly left. work this summer. It will be the exit Athletic Council. She claims it was oration of other folk's rooms with spreads fast when someon'e pur- I scooped the fragments of the of a freshman either way. If exams here that she survived her most em- fine quality paper. chuses a television set) she aban- mangled furniture into a neat pile in don't kill me, Pop and work will-so barrassing moment. On her first pub- It seems strange to see an English doned the idea. When she turned the center of the room. The television it's unlikely that I'll survive all three. lic llerformance of a flip-before major in a white uniform going and around and found three drunks in set was still on and undamaged. As If I do, I'll be a sophisticated soph crowde