Page 60 - TheGoldBug1934-35

PAGR TWO The Gold Bug, Western Maryland College, Westminster, Md. GOt Passing in Review AMATEUR NIGHT By IDAMAET, RILEY DEADER THAN THE DODO "A DOG'S LIFE" General Hugh Johnson once said that A Play by Lee Irwin, '36 be sick if you keep this up. She doesn't Now be a good matter to us, does she , the NRA was "as dead as the dodo" Offi~ial student n~wspaper of Western Maryland College, published on Thund.,. Characters: fellow and swallow these beans. Don't dunng the academic year by the students of Western Maryland College, Westmin.ster, .Now, if possible, that famous National Joan' want 'em' Please--just for me' Can't Maryland. Entered as second-class matter at the Westminster Postoffice. . Recovery Act, symbolized by the blue Larry-Husband of Joan I choke 'em down can you, doggie' My SUBSCRIP~'IONPRICE$1.00 A YEAR eagle, is deader than the dodo. Mrs. Hastings-Mother of Joan. appeti ts isn't what it was either, but For the. Supreme Court of the United give me the bachelor's life, huh. That's States last Monday declared unconstitu- Pat-Dog belonging to Larry and Jane. contentment for you-only you look Scene 1- tional Section 3 of the Industrial Re- Setting-A comfortable living room more lonesome than contented, You covery Act which gave the President with an open fireplace and a couch be- want her' No you don't, Pat! Think EDITORIAL STAFF authority to make codes. It also held fore it. A man and a woman are of me-I married her, and I don't wanb Editor-in-Chiif.! _ , ROSALIEG. SILBERSTEIN, '36 void the provisions of the codes fixing her. Well, if you can't even eat, I Assooiate. Edit(Y1's IDAMAET. RILEY,'36, ROBERTBROOKS, '36 minimum wages and maximum hours of sitting upon the couch, a dog at their News Ed~to?·s GUYGRIFFEN,'36, SARABELLEBLACKWELL, '37 labor. The decisions were unanimous. feet. All seem strangely interested guess---! Copy Ed~tors JANETMACVEAN,'38, LEONARDGRAHAM, '38 in the fire. Secne III (Later the same day) Sport» Editors HERBERTSTEVENS,'36, ELIZABETHHAGEN,'36 Making the decisions, the Court ruled J·oan-Pat, your poor old mistress has Setting-The living room in Mrs. Exohange Edito?· MIRIAMWHITFIELD,'36 that "where transactions have merely Hastings' apartment, where Joan IS an indirect effect on interstate coin had a hectic day-those fire eaters at MAKE-UP STAFF the club insisted on bridge at one cent living with her mother. Managing Editor KENNETHPLUMMER,'37 merce, the control rests with the a point-I lost. We can't keep up this Mrs. Hastings-Joan, I am so glad Assistwnt Managing EditOl· GEORGENEEDHAM,'37 States". pace, Pat. We'll have to stay home un- you came home to me. I've missed you, The ruling of the COUl'tis the knock BUSINESS STAFF less we find some more money--! honey, and you know that I always said Business MOInager EDWARDBEAUCHAMP, '313 out blow for the NRA. For several Larry-Pup, if the bills keep piling LaITY was just a lazy, good looking, Advertising Manager JOHN WARMAN, '37 months it has been "taking it on the up, and wages keep going down, I ex- good-for-nothing. Assistant Advel·tis-img Manager ROBERTKIEFER, '37 chin", and now it seems down for the pect you and I will be heading for the Joan-Mother, how many times must Ci7'oulation Managm·s THOMASEVELAND,'36, ROSALIEGILBERT, '36 count of ton. Many people are not Assistant Cil'C1~lationMalllagers JOHNCULLER,'37, NORVINGOMPF,'38 sorry. county home. There's so darn much ex- I tell you-I hate Larry and I never MARTHAMCCULLOUGH,'37, HILDABIDDLE,'38 travagance and selfishness around here! want to see him again, but h's not lazy, REPORTERS GREEN AND GOLD SPECIAL Joan-Honest, Pat, it just seems that He did work hard. It's Pat I miss-s-oh, Charles Read, '36; Nicholas Campofreda, '3'6; Ralph Lambert, '37; Paul Ritchie, Since we packed our trunks for W you and I are being misunderstood con- T wish I could see him! '37; Kenneth Baumgardner, '38; James Coleman, '38; Harry Bright, '38; III. C. last fall a lot of significant water tinually. I wonder if Mother still wants Mas. Hastings-Well, all I wish is Merlin Miller, '38; Paul Nelson, '38; Sherwood Balderson, '38, Charles Baer, has passed under the bridge of history us, She told me how Iit would be- that you'd forget that stilly mongrel and '38. -election of Governor Harry Nice .. Still, I wouldn't listen, would If Well, take some interest in yourself-and Jayne Roof, '36; Mary Gaston, '36; Elizabeth BFd, '36; Sally Price, '37; Helen triumphal re-election of Democrats to I still love you, Pup. others. Now, if you'd only fix yourself Stump, '36; Virginia Lee Smith, '38; Anne Chew, '38; M.,Y. Brittingham, '38; up-get a finger-wave, and put on some Eleanor Taylor, '38. Congress ... conviction of Bruno Rich- Larry-As for those insinuations, ard Hauptmann ... return of Saare Joan, you might as well address me di- make-up, and gain a little weight-you Worthy opinion; Model management; Correct news. i brucken to Germany after January rectly. You were responsible for last know Harry Spencer used to think you were just about right. I plebiscite ... re Stresa conference ... is my year even more than I was-Pat Joan (with dignity)-I am not inter I jection of teachers' oath bill Roose pup, remember, and he'd never leave ested in men, Mother. I have put them o ' velt/s veto of the bonus bill D T I A L R I 1....-._________________________________ II of the NRA codes. Death me, I know. Your mother always did from my life forever. I think I shal like that Spencer guy! Similarly, a lot of worth-remembering Joan-Ll:\rry, I've tried to do my best have a career-I haven't decided jus The Gold Bug Here I am, breaking into print aga.in after having water has passed under the bridge of in spite of very little to do it on, but what, yet! Gets An Orchid definitely and dramatically sworn off for the re- (Continued on Page 4, Col. 4) you never appreciated that. Mrs. Hastings-Now eat more break mainder of the year. But the rating of the Gold Bug Larry-Poor girl-no one ever appre- fast than that! You haven't even fin received recently from the Associated Collegiate Press made my fingers CAMPUS dates her! ished your toast. You must have ac quired the habit of not eating because Joan-Shut up! I am going home to itch to pick up my plume and plunge into a final editorial. Mother right awayl there wasn't enough food in the ~ouse As part of the services of the Associated Collegiate Press, which LEA D E R·S Larry-Better sleep on it-no, I guess poor child! the Gold Buq joined last January, the college newspaper received an you'd probably change your mind. Joan-Mother, how many times must analysis, criticism, and rating of the content and style of the paper dur- Joan-Cad! I tell you that we always had enough ing the first semester of this year. The general criticism, based on the (She drags out suitcase, and throws to eaH It's just that-I guess I miss clothes into it furiously'). Pat, and I am not adjusted to the Associated Collegiate Press' manual for .editors and staffs of scholastic change in homes yet. This is so differ mad, huh, PaU newspapers, was listed as "good," and many features of the paper re- Larry-Pretty door) Pat, you're the only ent-so much nicer, I mean! Joan-(at ceived the rating" excellent." A summary of the scored points follows. thing I hate leaving. (be11 rings-Mrs. Hastings answers A general ra tills' of "good" was given the system of insuring the Larry (pretending nonchalance)- I Mrs. Hastings-Joan, Larry is down effective covering of news sources, the balance of the news content be- thought you were leaving-too good to stairs, and wants to see you. Now if tween the various sources, and the emphasis on the different phases of be true. I guess! I were you, I'd never encourage him news. Sports stories received an "excellent "rating, and the general Joan-Don't worry-you'll never see just say that you've decided on a di- vorce. news writing, the evidences of good copyreading and proofreading, head- me again except before the judge. Oh, Joan-Oh, Mother! Larry! What lines, and the general printing of the paper were listed as "good." The 1 never thought I could hate anyone as could he wanU Tell him to wait. (She slams door). much as I hate you. editorial column received a high" good" rating, and the sports arrange- Larry-Pat, now for a nice peaceful (She funs into bedroom and dresses ment and coverage and the feature columns were marked an "excellent" home life! frantically, combs hair, and puts make- appraisal. Scene II (2 days later) up on in an effort to look her best). The rating by the Associated Collegiate Press represents the first Setting: Same room with Larry and Joan-Mother, how do I look' Mrs. Hastings-a-Joan, now calm your- objeciioe criticism made of the Gold Bug. This criticism, made by ex- Pat enjoying their solitude. self-you're trembling. Be firm with perts in the field of journalism, considered all phases of the gathering, Larry-Well, Pat, old man, doesn't him, I always said he was just on ir- editing, and publishing of collegiate news. Not only was a criticism it seem swell around here without a boss I Clothes where you want 'em, responsible boy, nothing more! made, but numerous suggestions were outlined personally by the critics meals-well, I admit they're not so I Joan-(llotly) you never knew him, to aid in bringing the Gold Bug into an even higher classification within DENNISJ. BROWN good. Pup, why won't you eat t You'll (Contiued OL. Page 3, Column 1) the membership rating of the Associated Collegiate Press. Now that (Note: It is fitting to conclude this the members of the new staff know what an objective analysis requires, series of Campus Leaders of the Class they can work to perfect those points on which the Gold B~lg received a of '35 with a sketch of Dennis J. Brown who inaugurated this feature and who medium scoring. Next year I expect to find the Gold Bug in the" ex- made "his GOLDBUGthe best in years" COLLEGE RHYTHM cellent" rating in all phases of the Press classification! (to quote the 1935 Aloha.) And so the Gold Bug moves on toward becoming more vitally asso- ciated not only with school life, but with the journalistic standards of A Noel Coward comedy .. a collegi- Spring Maneuvcrs->- They advertise delicious sea food as an ate edition of Esquire . . . a touch of other institutions and authorities. In just eleven short years, the Bug Eugene O'Neill. Folks-meet Dennis! The fire department visited the sen- added feature ... Guy Griffen got the has grown from a small printed sheet to an important part of college life His is one of those rare personalities ior dorm recently. And just to enter- most original autograph for his Aloha at Western Maryland College. No stars are needed to predict that the that temper the artistic with an extra tain the disappointed firemen, the sen- -a bird did it! ... Kl:\le Mathias' new future will be favorable to our college paper! measure of the practical. iors came through with a waste-can fire. car is expected to hit the high spots And wishing the new staff a continued success on the Gold Bug, He loves olives. (He regull:\rly swipes Which must have burned up the Dean! . . . Jane Welch should make up her another ex-editor finds the last drop of ink disappearing from his col- them from other people's salads when . . . Why bother with a new grass mind. Is it to be Slaysman, Reith, or legiate pen. they aren't looking.) And his heart's in cutter for the golf course' Everyone someone elsef .. , Ruth Jenkins can't. the theatre. He has literally gone seems to do' all right with.()ut it .. _ make up her mind either ... From the -DENNIS J. BROWN. through fire and watel' (and snow) to Some llaught;y freshmen "borrowed" looks of things, "Libby" Wolford will see some anticipated production. some fruit last week off th,at big gro- sponsor the 1936 Aloha ... Hurray! Or What's a Heaven For? In 1870 William Gilmore Simms composed But Dennis has one obsession. He cer)' truck. Orange you sorry ~ . . . the senior girls can soon stay out until for himself an epitaph which told subse- dislikes people who talk-and talk- The Glee Club rode the waves two or midnight. Lucky for those guys who quent generations that "here lies one who, after a reasonably long life, and talk-and never say anything three weeks ago-high and low, high know seniors intimately! ... Plans are distinguished chiefly by unceasing labors has left all of his better works clever. and low. But those in a position to growing for the biggest and best of all A member of the Delta Pi Alpha fra- know, say it wasn't a nice thing to do tlle June Balls. And,!\.s Dorothy Park- undone." When he wrote this epitaph, Simms had in mind his own ternity, Dennis has measured his activ- . Some campus cuties came er would say, if all the people at the approaching death; yet if one were to apply this to a college commence- ities on the Hill one-third social, one- through with a clang last Saturday Ball were laid end to end we wouldn't ment, it would fit more appropriately than a hasty consideration would third scholastic, and one-third extra- night and rang the tower bell at 3 be at all surprised! show. curricular. A. M. But just wait! , . And the Ox-Roaders- Next monday approximately 135 seniors will be graduated. Their As a sophomore he was a winner in same night a gleaming red lantern deck- Patterson-Sulli van_ college career is ended. They have been here on the Hill for four the Norment Speech Contest, and dur- ed the main portal of McDaniel Hall. Eveland-Brinsfield. . It isn't hard to see that something years-long years if you wish. Yet four years pass quickly, especially ing the hst two years he has appeared more than the measles is sending the Coleman-Corkran. in plays presented by the speech depart- when those four years have been busy ones, when they have been dis- ment. Besides editing the GOLDBUG, boys to the iniirmary ... The dance at Bratton-Hudson. tinguished by unceasing labors. Some of the seniors-most of them, per- Dennis was an associate editor of the the Armory Saturday night was well Burger-Main. Mathias-Mi1es. haps-will leave W. ]\i. C. ",ith much regret. Friendships will be inter- 1935 Aloha, organized a writing club, attended by the college boys. And rupted, maybe broken. A life of comparative pleasures will be ex- arranged for m€mbership of the GOLD ~'as that window sill dusty! Another Curtl:\in- changed for a life of hard work. Eyeryone will not achieve his goal. BUG iu the Associated Collegiate Press, "Bob" Snow has been covering some And so the dirt ends for another year. Many will exchange old, ambitious plans for new ones. Perhaps some and drew up a style manual for the territory downtown . . We wonder But with a new flock of freshmen to be GOLDBUG. if any p!\.ths crossed in a nearby woods "broken in" and the rest of the under- will, like Simms, leave all their better works undone. A kn'lck for saying the right thing, a Sunday evening when some of our classmen returning, next year promises This may seem a rather pessimistic" farewell." Perhaps it is. But flair for writing it, a natural dignity young ladies went out for an airing .. much. But, how we'll miss all those "ft man's reach should always exceed his grasp." that initates him-presenting Mr. Gold Recommended for the most popular nice seniors! Here's hoping everyone Bug! place in town-" the hole in the wall". has a wild sllll)mer! -J. RALPIl LAMBERT,