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3. I made elaborate and faux Internet identities in order
to catfish a few girls (and guys) for a numbers of
months and years just to mysteriously disappear
without warning. Leaving those I’ve befriended and
loved, lost and confused and a bit closer to a world of
despair.

4. Oh and also, when I was young, I spat into this one
girl’s drink because I thought that it would get her
pregnant and if I were to get her pregnant she would
marry me.
a. Why did I think that at a young age? Well,
remember when you were a kid and you were
trying to figure out where babies come from? I
thought that babies are made when a man and
a woman kissed—and then I wondered why is
that? After much observation, I just figured
that it must have been the male saliva that
impregnates a female, and so I spat on that
girl’s drink so that she could get pregnant and
would have to marry me because when girls
get pregnant they have to marry the father of
the child.
i. Or so I’d observed when I was a kid
growing up in the Philippines.

But yeah in contrast to all that, this trip to New York
actually feels pretty tame. Still—what the hell am I going to do
when I get there though?

This girl (whom we will refer to as “Lisa”) has only seen
me once when I posted a photo of myself on my blog.

She liked it.
And every guy knows that when a girl likes a photo of you,
she wants the D.

…

The bus is moving again.
And shit, my soup is getting cold.
Gotta keep myself full and energized.

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