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Steven Calleja

Soup and Me

I have soup.
I could have gone and gotten coffee but I get real jittery
when I take in caffeine. There’s still four more hours till we
get to upstate New York and frankly I don’t want to be awake
for this entire trip.

This trip.

Dudes who take acid and shrooms probably have saner
adventures than this.

PROBABLY.
Still, I think that it still takes a certain kind of crazy to just
get on the Mega Bus and go to New York State out on a
whim—though I suppose that it’s not all that spontaneous if I
had already pulled this girl’s address from the web prior to all
this. Yeah I know it’s immoral and maybe even illegal, but
from all the other crazy shit I’ve done for girls I honestly think
that this is one of my saner endeavors—because let’s do a
checklist here of some of the things that I’ve done for females
that I’ve been enamored with for comparison:
1. I attempted to ruin a relationship by badmouthing

this girl’s boyfriend hoping that she would turn to me
instead, because I heard that she had great fellatio
skills.
2. I went insane and protested against gay marriage and
gay rights (which I support by the way—on the
account that I am genuinely bi-curious) just so that I
can get back on this one chick for going for a lesbian
instead of me.

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