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my head down on it. Pain radiated through my forehead. Above the
table and through my folded arms, I muttered "Baby-Dick." I couldn't
fix what had happened.

Another month passed. Liz wouldn't speak to me, would
scarcely even look at me. Somehow, my rude little nickname had of-
fended her so completely that she no longer wanted to acknowledge my
existence. I had tried many times to try and find another in with her, but
she wouldn't have it. I suppose that even the mere thought of a baby's
penis attached to a seventeen-year-old male was enough to send her into
a whirlwind of terrible anxiety. I know that it was enough to do that to
me.

It was a week before I spoke to T-Dave again. He tried to
apologize over and over to me, but within that week my rage was un-
conquerable. In addition to that, I spent most of the week incapable of
breathing. The panic attacks would start when I woke up in the morn-
ing and end when I lett school at three.

That week I spent most of my time hanging out with Black
Seamus and Black Dwight. They were the least judgmental of the group,
for sure. As a matter of fact, neither of them liked calling me "Baby-
Dick;' instead preferring "White Billy."I would have liked for "White
Billy" to have caught on with the rest of the student body. It made me
feel warm inside and reminded me of the good times I had with Seamus
and Dwight. Chuck would join us from time to time, but he had
recently found a girlfriend (a reasonably attractive freshman girl who
hadn't yet heard of how verbally abusive Chuck could be to his women),
and so was spending less and less time with them.

Seamus, Dwight and I spent a lot of time drinking together.
Seamusbrother worked in a liquor store, and always brought forties
of Steel Reserve back for Seamus and his "little friends." All in all, that
week was pretty good. Seamus and Dwight even understood the finer
points of my favorite band, Death, and like myself, thought their stron-
gest efforts were their second album, Leprosy, and their last album, The
Sound of Perseverance.

T-Dave and I started talking to each other again.

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