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Eisenhower

Jeff Greeley J-Greel

Thurston Holliday Cockthurston

Chuck Louis Woodchuck: Hoodchuck;

Black Chuck

Seamus Wilson Black Seamus

Dwight Harris Black Dwight

Billy McCallister( that's mel) Baby-Dick McCallister

Clearly, this bunch of miscreants was far from overwhelmingly
creative. Not a one among us was gifted with any special acuity for ver-
bal wit. My favorites, for sure, were Captain Neckbeard and Cockthur-
ston-one which I, in fact, coined. Chuck Louis was not, despite the
nickname, of African-American heritage, although he was never seen
without the company of Seamus and Dwight, and so they affectionately
claimed him as one of their own with the handle "Black Chuck." He
reveled in the rare and special delight of honorarily being one of "those
people."

Nobody else had permission to call him "Black Chuck."

It wasn't long, however, before "Baby-Dick McCallister"
began to spread amongst the student body. First, they began to use it
during games in gym class. Somehow I'd catch the football, and then it
was, "Yo Baby-Dick, I'm open!" or, "Pass it here, Baby-Dick!" In time it
began to gain notice in the female half of the class. Boys and girls alike
now had license to mock my penis. Before I knew it, guys who weren't
in my gym class would pass me in the hallway, and with a fist-bump or
a pat on the back, they'd utter, "Yo Baby-Dick;' or, "What's up Baby-
Dick?" or, "Hey Babes." Friends would come to the door at my house
and, if my brother would get up from his bong for a long enough time
to answer the door, they would ask him, "Is Baby-Dick in?" or "Can
Baby-Dick come out and play?"

As one can imagine, it was degrading at first. I certainly didn't
want my penis to be equated in size with that of an infant's. In fact, I
was content with the idea of people simply not acknowledging the fact
that my penis even existed. But, on the bright side, it was the first proper
nickname I had ever been given, and over time I began to realize that, in
some way, it signified that I was no longer an outsider. On the contrary,
the coining of a nickname came to mean that I was "one of the guys."

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