Page 44 - Contrast2006

Courtney Kief

CHRISTMAS BLUES

Cold air bites my lungs as I lock

my door. Walking from the car to the main entrance, I see the stars-
pin holes in a black canvas - as my breath

is made known to me, lingering only a moment as I take a last
deep breath before entering the revolving

doors. Just off the elevator, I smell the familiar cleanliness
of a place filled with sickness-

the Clorox and Latex collide with the odor of the sick and tired.

I pass the faces in the nurses' station which smile
at me. Like a child who's misbehaved
and wondering if she's been found out,

I peek around the corner to see you before you see me _ I need
to prepare myself a bit. I enter with a smile, I talk, I believe
you listen, you stopped talking last week.
Thought it's only seven in the evening, it is dark _

the only relief to the black, is the blue hue given to a winter sky.
Inthis room, things are made clear,
like a dusty mirror wiped clean,

I can now reflect. I sit in the chair by your bed, holding
your swollen hand - its nearly transparent tissue paper
skin reveals much. The fluid builds in the infected
you as the hallway outside your room is disinfected _
with such monotony and ease. I wish it was that easy
to machine sweep you clean.

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