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too. She wouldn't ever let a single stray on to our just laid down on the blue towel and my mother
property. She kept fighting as long as she could.
said that Double hadn't been able to sleep very
Then her eyes glazed over and she sat her head in well lately because she hurt so much and she went
the crook of my mother's arm
to sleep I think. And I think she was happy, be-
We all took turns holding her. She didn't
cause she liked to sleep.
like to be held much when she was younger, just
And I couldn't breathe because I was really
when she got old and for the past few days she
'choked up,' like they say. Even when I say it
didn't want us to put her on the ground at all. I
now I have to calm down. Because I get all
was about to say 'we never wanted to put her
'choked up' again. Iwish there was a less cliche
down.' Not the best tum of phrase.
way to say it because she deserves better than
My father even held her and he didn't even that. Ijust couldn't breath. My chest rose up and
like her all that much. I mean, he
closed my throat. The nurse tucked her paw
didn't dislike her, but you know.
under.
She would get into the window
We said "It really does work fast"
and then jump on him from up
and the doctor said "Well she was half way
high. She liked to be up high.
there ," Thanks for the editorial doc, Imean
So then it worked. She was
really. He left.
just a furry sack. My sister
checked her watch. It's been nine her little head Then my sister reached out and
minutes then the doctor came sitting up be- rubbed her back. And my mother rubbed
the side of her face like she had probably
bursting back through the door. cause she
been doing for years and years. And I re-
And he had the needle. He said to
put her down on the table. I wanted to fight membered this one time when my sister and
spread out the blue towel under- it but she was I were watching TV in my room.

neath her so that she wouldn't be so ti.re d.... " Iwas lying down in bed and my
cold because she didn't like to be
cold. She would always sleep by bed is up against the wall. My sister w~s
sitting on the inside of the bed and she Just
flopped over sideways. Then she laid very
the heaters and she had always wanted a place to still and she said. "If I had just fallen over dead
hide but she didn't look like she cared very much what would you do?" I said "I would snap and run
about it now because she was just lying there with out of the room screaming," and she said, "I
her little arms spread out and he shaved her arm
wouldn't do that to you. Iwould just lie there,
with the electric razor and said that the medicine
holding your body," 't
would work very quickly and she had her little
And Ithought of that. How my sister wasn
head sitting up because she wanted to fight it but afraid of the bodies of the people that she loves.
she was so tired and she looked at the needle I
Strange as it sounds. And I touched the eat's paw
think as it went into her arm and her little head
and I couldn't breathe again. My chest just rose

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