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was eaten by thehunqrv dragons. Directly opposite the front door, and across the
clearing, the three wierd sisters quicklv erected a make-shift brothel to divert the
pygmies from their attack. The place was immediately over-run by drooling bad-
gers and sex..hungry sloths. The three wierd sisters were last seen tearing through
the woods pursued by the rabble, which now included the elves and the three
dragons.

With his forces severely depleted, Bjorn pondered a new plan of defense. He
finally decided that when the pygmies came to the door, he would dress up in his
Gene Autry suit and pretend not to be horne, He immediately went inside and
dressed to execute his plan.

The pygmies could be seen coming through the woods and many were already
near the tree .. Bjorn adjusted his hat and holsters, dusted off his chaps, and stuck
on his fake mustache and glasses. He sauntered out the door with his hands on his
holsters, chewing a great wad of black mud.

The pygmies stopped cold. Bjorn spit and pointed to the horizon. "They
~ went thataway." A momentary silence followed; then a great howl of laughter

came from all around, and Bjorn was pelted with coathangers and water balloons.
Ducking frantically, he jumped out of his disguise and scrambled into the house.
The two boys threw open the shuttered windows exposing the ominous barrel of
the machine gun. RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!! A deadly spray of rats and
tats filled the area in front of the house and the pygmies scrambled for the safety
of the woods. Three lay dying in the dust.

Suddenly two orange-blue r,rf~aturesslid down the chimney. Apparently the
"No Trespassing" sign in the ba ard hadn't deterred them. Fortunately, Bjorn's
hungry bats made short work of "hem, Things looked bad for Bjorn, however --
there were at least 1,000,000 nasty Pvgmies out in the woods, and he could see
they were preparing for a second assault ..

Meanwhile, back at town, the mayor had managed to drag himself to the
phone and call the Secretary of State. Glerfl was participating in the foreign aid
program, so the Secretary of State connected the mayor with the Secretary of
Defense, who ordered a full-scale intervention by the Air Force.

Bjorn knew nothing of all this. So, after wolfing down the remains of the
last boy, he armed himself for a last stand. As Bjorn threw his oyster knives, the
Air Force dropped 700 tons of napalm, which reduced Glerfl to a few cinders and
incinerated everything within a radius .of twenty feet, including several pygmies.
Seeing that this failed, an artillery bombardment was ordered, and Bjorn's tree
was soon surrounded by 300-foot craters and eight dead pygmies. Bjorn was at
his wits end when a troop of Boy Scouts who had been camping nearby wandered