Page 221 - YB1903

"Well, you and Roberts were great chums 011 earth, do yOll know where he is?" [ asked, "Roberts," cried the skeleton, "why he is in Hell at present. You know he used to have a pretty bad habit of lying; it always seemed to be a weak point with him, but it was the cause of hi" trip to Hell without a doubt. He never was what you might call H. professional at the business, but always stayed in the amateur class, professional honors apparently having no charms for him, It was rather amusing the first night he arrived in Hell. The atmosphere was rather more clouded than usual, and several men wer-esitting around talking; among them were 1'0111 Pepper and a few 1110reof those total abstainers (that is, from the truth), When Roberts attempted to compare the atmosphere there at that moment with that of Baltimore all the occasion of a big fire, beginning with his usual' You can believe it or not,' two of them grabbed him and were going to kill him for tryi;lg to spring any such probabilities on them for lies. He kept quiet for some time. He amuses himself now doing athletic feats with Hercules, Goliath, Samson and some of those old strong men, Robby organized a foot ball team and had them trained nicely and doing good work, when Samson, wuo was captain, wanted to try julius Csesar at quarter back where Roberts had played. Well,j ulios was cer-tainly a good man; he could run like the wind and he could beat Robby to a standstill on handling the ball ; so Robby was put off the team and allowed to carry the hot lead they used for drinking on the field, "Hurley is also there, and he was doing some wrestling business with one of the little youngsters when Achilles carne up and wanted to take a hand in the gan1l'. Hurley consented and the contest was very fierce, it lasted for about two days and a half, wheu finally Achilles secured a crotch and shoulder hold on Hurley and simply broke him in two at the hips, so that his legs and body were two separate institutions, and were separated for almost an hour, until some of the old Greek gods who were wit- nesses of the affair thought it a shame to leave him there in that shape and made him a new hip bOIlC'of gold. Hurley, after a few weeks, could navigate pretty well on his new plate; but merely walking around was to slow for him so he took up running for a pastime, There, again, he made a great mistake, fer when the gold hip bone was made no oil-cups were put in it to supply the acetabulum, so that, after rurrning a short distance, the joints became heated and his legs stuck fast, and threw him with terrible force against the ground. At present he could not move fast enough to get Bromo-Quinine pills for a person with the headache before the headache would be a thing of the past" - - 211 - -