Page 83 - ThePhoenix1996-97

- --------~----------... COMMENTARY Thursday, December 12, 1996 - Page 3 LETTERS TO TALES FROM REALITY THE EDITOR 1 Sergio Aguilera 11-------- It was one month ago, so I think too ugly for me!"). I'm not so sure didn't swallow it. I can write about it without being they are really human, though; talk From the audience, a guy obvi- Administration should return respect stabbed, punched, or kicked or, show protagonists, I mean. Then ously called John Doc says: And what's even worse, receiving a what about taxes? and punctuality to students bunch of nasty mail. Here, I'm not in presidential debates the two guys BOTH CANDIDATES: Do enjoy yelling at each other. On talk Dear Editor, talking about 'smart' stuff like foot- shows the acoustic level of the pro- you think we are the IRS? ball or about that science-fiction tagonists is so high that you'd Suddenly, an old short man movie called 'five women club.' wearing a cowboy hat jumps onto We are writing to express our disgust with the lack of respect shown to Boys and Girls of WMCLand, I'm rather be beside the engine of a the Student Government Assembly by members of the administrative talking about the presidential cam- Boeing 747 than be a part of the the stage. staff. As the SGA, we represent the students of this community and it is paign. I know what you're think- audience. OLD MAN: I just created a our responsibility to ensure that the administration properly addresses ing: it was so long ago, and you In addition to this, both shows third party. The candidate for presi- student concerns and ideas. In order to fulfill this obligation, we orga- don't want me to torture you with are conducted by hosts with the dent is me, for vice president is I nized Open and Student Forums earlier this semester to gauge student that nightmare again. For such a brain of toads ... What am Isaying?! and for the congress is myself. opinion and to formulate proposals which aim to improve the quality of duty you guys already have my Toads are much smarter than Rikki Since I have billions millions tril- life for students. After careful consideration and final approval by the neighbors of page. Lake. lions zillions of dollars in a bank SGA, proposals were forwarded to the appropriate administrators for Finally both shows promote the in Switzerland, I need no politi- response in a reasonable time frame. Ijust wanted to tell those who participation of the audience. Usu- cians; Ijust want to rule the world. don't pay much attention to poli- ally the public answers this encour- I have a nuclear device attached to tics ~ 90% of student body, count- agement by asking intelligent ques- my hand and if you don't vote for The administration demands respect and ing the political science majors, and tions, like "Mr. President, are you me, I'll make the whole Madagas- punctuality from students. Therefore, the 70% of the faculty, counting the ever gonna play the saxe in a blues car island explode. politics department ~ the follow- band? Since nobody really cares SGA expects the same common courtesy in ing thing: The presidential cam- Just in case you forgot what a whether Madagascar stays where it reciprocation. paign is already over, so you can presidential debate is like, here is is now - close to Africa - or turn on your TV again. Those heading toward Mars like the new a small transcript of one: smart, attractive and interesting TV NASA project, nobody will vote As of December 6, with the exception of Dean Barb Homeff who re- stars, like Rikki Lake (Miss CANDIDATE A: You puke for him. Unfortunately for us and sponded by the requested deadline, we have yet to receive either written "people who eat their pets") or Phil nose, when you were in third grade, for Madagascar he will try again or verbal response, or request for an extension from Mr. Scott Kane or Donahue (Mister "funny hot bun- you had an affair with your class- in the following elections. Dr. Ethan Seidel. nies") are glad to be able to replace mate! After this debate is pretty much the presidential debates on prime- CANDIDATE B: You are Iy- over, the mass media will raffle the The administration demands respect and punctuality from students. time. Actually, presidential debates ing!l I just wanted to borrow a winner of the debate and this can- Therefore, the SGA expects the same common courtesy in reciproca- are like TV shows. Here, I'm not penciL didate will win the elections. tion. In the future we hope to receive response from administrators in a saying that Phil Donahue's hair CANDIDATE A: Yeah right! Sorry if this laic brought your more timely fashion so that we may continue to improve life on the Hill. style looks like Clinton's or that You have no sense of morality most awful nightmare to life, but Bob Dole is similar to Homer .haQ,IO .do it sooner Sincerely, Simpson on suit ("'Bob Dole says whatsoever; you can search my somebody it might-as well be me. or latcr.tand The Western Maryland College Student Government Assembly that ... he's falling from a platform]! files and you will never find any- If you want to feel better you know thing like that. .. DOW!). Just think about it, Boys CANDIDATE B: ... that's be- that what you have to do: Tum on THE SOAPBOX and Girls ofWMCLand; presiden- cause you are too ugly to have af- your TV and watch Rikki Lake. tial debates are similar to talk the show you will probably After fairs. Women' d rather eat pizza full ------\1 Adam Dean 1-1--- shows. These debates are based on of pins than kiss yqu. be so insane that you will forget two guys talking mainly about their the saxo- plays that the president CANDIDATE A: And on your else's lives or somebody private life. On talk shows there are four 21 st birthday, you were seen drink- phone. You will probably forget ing a beer!! your name and how many siblings Sometimes it is frustrating to sit work" and passing pointless reso- or five human beings doing the (The audience cannot believe such you have too, but this is a risk you here and write about what you feel lutions. I personally feel that the same thing (I didn't sleep with that a mistake.) have to take. and believe. It is good to express idea 10 offer BLARS over Jan tenn lady, supposing she's a lady; she's CANDIDATE B: Yes, but I yourself and get some of these frus- deserves some serious consider- trations out in the air but it usually ation. The SGA's backing could SAVING THE is a pointless exercise. But when help make this idea a reality. I you see something you have been would just really like to say "good critical of greatly change for the job" to all the people in student better it makes you want to keep government that have tried to make NATIONAL ANTHEM on going. That said I want to com- their organization a much needed pliment the SGA. In this semester pro-student influence on our cam- 1 Ty Unglebower 1 alone they have become more ac- pus. Good job guys! tive and more open to the student Now, to totally change the sub- body than ever before. At least that ject, I have a question to ask. Why Nearly all Americans know it. and abroad, in good times and islation to have it changed), is the is my experience. Many of these do the residents of the Garden It is played at the beginning of not bad,for more than 150 years. But,if fact that it is not an easy song to "changes" are nothing of the sort, Apartments and the PAhouses have only sporting events, but also many some have their way, it will not sing. The argument is, if it is to be but the SGA has taken the lime to to follow the rules and checkout ceremonies and celebrations. I meet those. ends as our national the national anthem, it should be make known that these options are times of the residence halls? I live myself sign off my radio program anthem for much longer. able to be song by the average per- out there. Now I know that any- in the Garden apartments and I on WMCR with it. I am, of course, There have been many people son. To be sure, the National An- thing I may have said or written think the situation is very different referring to the national anthem of who have suggested that the song them is not your average "do,re, probably had nothing at all to do from that of a dorm room. It is a the United States, "The Star "The Star-Spangled Banner" mi" tune. But is this really an ad- with these improvements. But it is real, self-contained apartment. So Spangled Banner." should no longer be the national equate reason for changing it? nice to see things starting to change what if they are shutting down Glar Most know the story of its cre- anthem of the United States. And The song is unique in the story for the beuer. for a while? There is a stove and a ation. Francis Scott Key, being the opinion is gaining momentum. it tells. Its very conception rings The SGA has made itself more fridge. I know there is the tired, old held prisoner on a British ship dur- Already there are those starting of the American accessible to the student body. SGA maintenance excuse, but that ing the British bombardment ofFt. movements to have our national with the fervor those few words Within spirit. forums, meetings on a regular ba- doesn't really cut it, now does it? McHenry, became inspired upon anthem changed to "America the scrolled by Key nearly two hundred sis and advertising their hot line If other apartment complexes can having seen the American flag still Beautiful." And the reason for do- years ago, we experience the pa- and e-mail address all make it allow their residents to stay in their flying over the fort after the fight- ing so is both simple and absurd, triotism of one man, and the easier for students to voice their homes all year round, why can't it ing was over the next morning. That is why I am against such an strength not only of an army at a concerns to the only student-run be done here? It just doesn't make Though the tune was added action. certain fort, but the survival of an body on campus that could possi- sense. I wonder if anyone out there later to what was originally a The biggest opposition that the ideal. The words are the testimo- bly offer solutions. The SGA has can offer a good explanation why poem, "The Star-Spangled Banner" national anthem faces from such nial to the very fact that the Great addressed real issues this semester this is the case? has been the song which has in- groups,(including members of Experiment which is the United instead of concentrating on "busy spired patriotic Americans at home Congress who are working on leg- Continued on page 4