Page 36 - ThePhoenix1995-96

On the Hill Thursday, October 12,1995, Page 8 Comedian Violation money, conunued from p.I I had one but. .. I just forgot to put it on. baffles Then, I went out to my car (one day) and I found a ticket laying on my wind- shield. If they (Campus Safety) had just students with checked my tags, they would have found that I did have a permit. Instead, they did not, and I had to pay a $25 fine. If talent you ask me, I think this whole parking ticket thing is going just a little too far. Don't we already pay this school enough HY SARAH SNELL SlaffWriler money? I mean enough's enough!" WMC was graced with the presence of WMC's Director of Financial Ser- Harley Newman, the professional lunatic, on vices, Mr. Art Wisner, justifies exactly Sept. 22. how this mysterious general fund ben- Newman's performance ranged from efits the school. He noted, "Specifi- cally, it goes into an area we call "other bad jokes to magic tricks to outrageously income ... " for education in general. This puters in her many ecology courses. dangerous stunts. He disgusted the audience is really like it says - for class instruc- Besides the benefits the students receive as he shoved a power drill, while it was run- tional purposes, expenses, student ser- from her extended research, Iglich also does re- ning, up his nose. The stunt he seemed most vices, admissions, and so on ... It doesn't search simply to satisfy her own curiosity. Be- proud of was when he laid his body on four go into one specific thing; and, what it cause so little is known about what she re- nine inch spikes. He attempted to have it does go into is for the academics and the searches, she does not have to compete with oth- put in the Guiness Book of World Records, support of the academics." ers in her field, and she can work alone but they told him that it was too dangerous. So, did you catch that? The money making her own discoveries. He had recently demonstrated this stunt as a from your violations is going toward With our changing environment, she guest on Gera/do. academics. Yes, academics. By now, 1 wants to pin-point the reasons for the "dy- At the age of 44, Newman still enjoys ing-out" of many species oftrees. By ex- putting his body to the test by performing hope some loose ends have been tied up amining the age and genetic and sexual great feats, such as laying on beds of nails for all of you concerned students out structure of these trees, Jglich develops a with several people standing on top of him. there. But, if not, just remember you picture of how the trees survive in their Newman's brand of humor and lunacy can always appeal your violations (as many as they may be) here at good '01 environments. With her continued desire, was not only entertaining, but timely and WMC. Whether you'll win or not is an- and persistence, she plans to stay focused educational. He explained to the audience other story. in the classroom as well as in her outside mathematically how he could lay on the bed research. of 1000 nails and remain unharmed. Because there were so many nails, each nail only had Cooper still working after a few ounces of pressure on it. Phoenix meetings joke. Harley also induded an 0.1. Simpson in the a new bath sponge He displayed 42 years Tuesdays, shape and color dipped into infamous "blood" Bronco. of OJ.'s it was water, When 6 p.m. could be squeezed from it. BY BECKY COCIIERILL For his final stunt, Newman asked seven Stoff wrher audience members to wrap him in 1,400 Could the Western Maryland community basement of waiting actually know someone as dedicated to his pro- square feet of plastic wrap. While a member for the mission to be completed, fession as baseball star Cal Ripken? Cal Ripken Daniel MacLea of the audience read stories from the "Na- didn't miss one game of2131. One worker at tional Enquirer." WMC hasn't missed a single day of work in 42 3rd and 4th sections From the saran wrap cocoon, he wiggled yean;. and squirmed free, while holding his breath Since 1953,at theageof 15, Charles J. Coo- Call ext. 8600 for 6 minutes. per has worked devotedly as a member of the for approximately safety officer The appear- ance of a campus on the scene housekeeping staff. Now, at the age of 58, Coo- more information added to the audience's suspense. per said he still "loves to work." Butwhatmakesamansofaithfultooneplace for so long? ''I keep it in the Lord's hands," re- Student safety watch aims plied Cooper. NO! only is Cooper a loyal worker, but he is a regular member at church. He men- tioned there were mornings when he would work to protect students on campus, and then rush home to get ready for church service. Cooper claims that there are rewards to his used to visit the college when a By AARON CoRBFIT job that keep him consistently coming into work dance was held, performing concerts which C0o- SlafjWriler and the threat they pose to students. "Students each day. The most important rewards are the per did not miss. Safety. Safety. Safety. That's what Student take things forgranted," saysChrisCollins,Cam- students. "I try to get along with everybody ... I'll In his time of working for Western Mary- Safety Watch is all about. As a new group on pus Safety Supervisor. He feels that given the stop and taIk: to students ... I'll speak to anybody land, Cooper has been presented with three dif- campus, it is trying to bring awareness to the stu- reported crimes last year alone, that more students .. ," assured Cooper. ferent plaques, honoring his devotion and hard dentsofWMC. should begin recognizing the dangers on campus. Back around 1960, Cooper recalled, he had work. Is he proud to have been a part of this cam- ''NO! a IO! of people know about us," says ''I'd love to see more students get involved." the most fun working in the kitchen. '1 was the pus for so long? "Yes indeed, I'm proud," said Ryan John of Student Safety Watch, "we want like Collins, John also wants to strive for boss of the dishroom," reported Cooper with a Cooper, nodding his head. Perhaps most amaz- students to be aware of the safety issues on cam- communication among students ebour safety is- smile. Previous dishroom aides still come to see ingly, Cooper says he is not tired of working and pus." sues on campus. 'We'd like to see students be their friend, expecting him to be in the cafeteria. plans 10 continue until he is 65. 'Heel good now," One major issue is that of walking at night. more responsible," John says. ''We encoumge stu- When the alumni don't see Cooper there, they he exclaimed, and it is obvious mat his loyalty Student Safety Watch currently offers an escort dents to make informed decisions." search until they fmd him somewhere else in will remain strong for a few more years. service for the entire campus. lbe most impor- Although there will always be safety issues Decker Center. To Cooper, these unexpected vis- It was a memorable night when Cal Ripken tant thing the group stresses about this is planning on campus, Student Safety Watch wishes to make its of familiar faces make his job worthwhile. look his victory run around the bases of his home and thinking about how to get from place to an- this campus an even safer environment. To do A lot can change in 42 years and Cooper baseball field, and the crowds applauded and other,especiaJlyifit'siate. "It only takes a sec- this, Student Safety Watch is looking for greater fondly remembered back to the way the students cheered. Noone wanted to miss the big event. In ond CO call, and only a few minutes to wait forthe involvement from students. Anyone concerned were when he first began working. He recalled, the same way, Charles Cooper deserves this rec- escort,"Johnexpresses. about these issues or would like to be a part of "They (the students) used to invite us (other bouse- ognition each time someone sees him on the West- One issue that the group knows it must tar- Student Safety Watch is encouraged to contact keeping staff) to ~ir parti.es." Bands like ''The ern Maryland campus. get is spreading awareness about campus' crimes Ryan John at extension 8303.