Page 5 - ThePhoenix1985-86

October 3, 19851We.tem Maryland CollegeIPage 5 ~o seconds on camp-us your first impression of WMC? Everybody seemed Really beautiful! Everyone was very I wanted to go to a iBeautiful campus! small school. Peo- Good architecture. real close and People are really nice. The activities pie were very nice I'm really amazed at friendly. I love nice. The science kept me Involved. to me. the Physical Educa- Rouzer! I think the department is really tion Learning Cen- Pub's very nice. good. ter. Capt. Fitzgerald Military Science Sandy Ferrell Todd Wilen Kim Lohmann Jay Wilson Dept. ..c. Lloyd Ha'rt. _ "It slices, it dices, it even makes Julienne fries" It's true - people will buy day Night Live is over, or running to the phone 10order neously keeping your records paired even ugly cigarette burns. free of harmful dust and lint? anything. especially if they more recently before Late the latest recycling of the hits And don't forget that it was Marvels of science that they of the number one recording can order it right off their Night with David Letterman Ronco that gave us the Auto- were, not even the original television screens. even comes on, grudgingly star in England four years in a cup, which overnight elevated bamboo steamer could hold a pulls on the hip boots and row, a feat not equalled by Remember the smokeless wades through the oceans of even Elvis or the Beetles. the dribble glass to an art candle to the ultimate in cut- ashtray, the record vacuum commercial gems every time form lery - The Ginsu - a knife so and the garden weasel? Well someone says "and we'll be But if recording artists sharp that even after cutting it's not surprising because right back". And they do you've never heard of just Great as its place in history rubber pipes, tin cans, and two-by-fours it still cuts with apparently you weren't the come back, but not in time to don't cut it anymore and you may be, Ronco didn't quite only one who didn't buy one. prevent you from becoming long for the days of old, corner the market even in laser precision. The Ginsu And it's a shame too. These the proud owner of two elec- there's only one place to turn juicer attachments. A number knife was singularly responsi- were the kind of products that tric egg scramblers, $100,000 - the legend that was Ronco of companies, located some- ble for eliminating the need to really made a statement worth of veteran's insurance, Can one among us look at where in Connecticut, adver- karate chop tomatoes and about America. A land of and the Civil War Chess Set. dull, lifeless vegetables and tised such wonders as a hand stick your foot through a wat- opulence and wealth where By this time il doesn't matter not recall those immortal held devise that would iron ermelon anyone can melt a dollar's who's back, because you've words, "it slices, it dices, it your drapes while they were But wait that's not alii You worth of plastic into some- gal so much junk in your even makes Julienne tries?" still hanging on the rods and also get this set of seven thing utterly worthless and sell living 'room you can't see the Who doesn't owe a small three foot fingernails that amazing Ginsu steak knives it for $9.95. Or $19.95. Or lV set. But that won't stop the thank you to the company transformed you into an in- and the Ginsu meat cleaver. $29.95. flooding because even if you that made it possible to stant Dr. No. And who could Now how much would you Every insomniac or som- can't see Slim Whitman sing- sharpen everything from par- do without that secret pow- pay? Don't answer yet be- cause you also get the incre- nambulant who is determined ing "Rose Marie", thaI pierc- ing knives to battle axes in six der, that with a hot iron and dible, indestructible scrap of cloth magically re- not to fall asleep before Satur- il\!Q yodel will send you easy strokes, while simulta-