Page 37 - Contrast2008

Monikthe flkoso'r an d wai.ts cror her husband to strike
and eh.as. bPet e ab out hiIS gI.r.lfriend, hI.S farni.l.y, ender paint and kicks forcefully at a chair. Her
I-i.directlIyS)0 Pete I.S fidgety, but always answers
illemb . IS eyes seem different than she re-
Iy illo ersb.the rn, more sunken m. and yet slight-
her sre d.nght . H·IS Calm disposition unnerves
Ma,riaenn' Ihng h er nu.n d spi.nning. Suddenly,
she is b s ~ oughts are plunged through ice, and
black :c at the funeral, dressed in bottomless
her n~ct grandmother's pearls draped around
skirt is u· . She ~tands rigidly, the fabric of her
The caskllld.entlfiable, and the lighting is dim.
The fu et IS closed, and Mike is beside her.
noise onferal h orne I.S overly decorated, and the
aillo suppressed sobs mixed with greetings
sendnsg hte. arful fn.en d s d roops her shoulders and
Peop] s Ivers up h er spm. e. An endless line of
Streane-.are fsahngki h ands, hugging, and crying.
sloW•l.y. s 0k tee nagers, teachers, and neighbors
dol sna e up to t h e couple to offer their con-
doeesnnc·es Man.an embraces them all, and she
I.nside ot cry. H er eyes are re d and hollow, her
gethers .are iceo 1he regrets begin to flow to-
Pete a Into one tangled pit of words. When
fore h pproaches, Marian knows who he is be-
arOuned sha.ys anyt himg. She sees Pete with a haze
his sho ld, body, an ethereal light coming from
Strick u ers and his strong hands. Pete looks
cannotenash e i.ntroduces himself, and Marian
and hu m~ve even an eyelash. Mike is crying
ian is ggl?g Pete, holding him tightly. Mar-
th.lng ua Wf IIldted flower, an d she watches every-
tiilles t n 0 around her. For the first of many
scream.o come ,s hee IiS start Ied by her daughter 's
Th III her head.
body is e. funeral is mercifully over, and the
gIass is shIII th e ground, and later that night,
Marian's ~:~~ed, and the mirror hanging above
bed to th IS on the floor. She runs from her
scream e closet, flinging open the door She
She OWsnwdild]y an d rnips _every pI.ece of clo.thm. g
delicate ~ own to the floor. She smashes her
and, crumpled into a fist, against the
wall. She scratches her nails through the lav-
heart is aching and bouncing with everything
she can't think of, with all that will never come
to be bearing down upon her with the weight
of a thousand years. And with her last ounce
of energy, she moves over to her nightstand to
remove her sewing shears. She turns to her bed
and begins to make small incisions and then
long, jagged tears, cutting and slashing until
her comforter is all feathers and fabric, flutter-
ing around her feet.
When Mike finds her, she is asleep, curled
up in a ball on the floor. Porcelain is smashed
by her face and hands, glass litters the carpet,
and she is surrounded by a mountain of feath-
ers. He lifts her small body, and she is jolted
awake".I hate him," she breathes into the bed-
room, even before she recognizes Mike. He
pats her head gently. "I hate him," she hisses
again. And then she is sobbing and pounding
at Mike's chest, screaming.
"Marian! Marian!" he shouts. "Calm
down!" But Marian only wails louder, and
Mike begins to shake her, harder and harder.
Finally he drops them both onto their ruined
bed, weeping and out of breath.
Hours later the lights are still on, and both
of them are awakened from their restless sleep.
Marian's head is on Mike's shoulder, and her
legs are wrapped around his. She touches his
cheek, "I hate him," she says, her voice break-
ing. "I carried her for nine months, and she was
mine before anyone else's," tears leak from her
eyes. "I saw her first intake of this world." Mar-
ian crumples her hand into a fist, her finger-
nails drawing warm slivers of blood from her
palm. She rolls over, giving herself up to her
grie£ Mike is left to his own anguish, clutching
his empty arms in those terribly dark hours.
Here in the living room Marian's eyes have
glazed over, and the churning in her stomach