Page 17 - Contrast2008
P. 17
Katie Kernan
The Trains
The'llnbext trraaim to aJepart from Platform One Today she's dressed up. She's not exactly
ready for a night on the town, just black pants
stopupnin aetlhl efio~r-t.hitrty-two, Flinders Street, and a white blouse. But compared to the colors
I'm used to seeing her wear she may as well be
:g stations to Flinders Street except East heading off to a black tie affair. She's also wear-
ing sunglasses .. ,again, something that I'm not
Richmond. used to. They're completely reflective ~o I can't
see what direction she's looking, It sends my
T-sh' Right on ti.me again, she shows up. Yellow mind into a spin. I could swear she stared at
me the whole time. Her face is pointed straight
lassItt hand d eru.m skirt. Today, she's wearing ahead, but she must be looking my way. Iwant
to stare straight back at her and smile or do
gmak esht at 1 haven 't seen her in before and they something similarly cool, but I can't even make
myself look at her for more than a few millisec-
againe her look like a librarian, especially set onds at a time. This is just fucking ridiculous.
All I have to do is look back-just look back
to looskt her 10ng, dbe'ep rown hair. 1don t need and smile. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.
My head isn't following instructions though.
Afte .er up and down like Ihave in the past. It's stuck looking out the window. Iwant to do
it. I want to do it. I want to do it.
for sri seeIng h er every Sunday, at the same time,
The only thing I could do now is to take
that ~x~eeks, 1 could almost convince myself my head in my hands and physically turn it
towards her. Then I would have to use my fin-
all 1 h ow her. 1 have her memorized. After gers to push my mouth into a smile but, with a
kn,ow have seen a multitude of her moods. I certain amount of dismay, I find that my hands
aren't responding either. That's possibly a good
SInH ow she looks when she walks, when she thing, come to think of it. It's like she's in a
trance, her stare is that unrelenting. Shit, One
in adesd, when sh es' concerned, when she's elated more stop and she gets off. I need to get it to-
gether. I'm trying to convince myself that noth-
her ay ream, and when she rubs and closes ing bad could come of me smiling at her. After
all what's the worst that could happen? She
f:all]enyToe1hvsein exh austro. n, I'm almost sure I could d;esn't smile back? Big deal! She's just a girl-
W.it h h er when she's asleep. just a gorgeoUS, well dressed, can't get ~er out
of my mind, infatuating, sexy as hell gul that
her .. train' arnves an d I open the door for
,StolttIn dgd own about six seats away but fac-
ing
ly. 1 Wa' r sh er. Ih ave to do this surreptitious-
de,libCant 1let h er know that I've chosen the seat
Ine ewrhaitle y. Sh e aIways faces me and watches
sthama'teshthei"IIeSnatt. the same ti.me, trym. g to pretend
It'so dd that we 're doing the exact
gets off Irnhg. Fiv. e st ops 1ater, sh e stands up and
e train.
Twhiellnbext htram. to depart from Platform One
stopping ealtl. efou.r -thiirty-ttoo, Flinders Street,
station S t.0 R'uI'naJers Street except East
Richmond.
