Page 13 - Contrast2008

Richard M ann
Jesus Saves Peanuts
trhoughThethpeanuts .ca11to h er. She can 't see them
be used t eloverslzed red leather bag that could
sneak in o c ea.r 0u tlarge crowds of people and
bur she knoutside can dy at the movie theater
Yaung p. ows th ey are t h ere. She had seen the'
strategicaelltIte girl W.Ith th e wavy blonde hair
fore she feli e~t one bag and save the other be-
757 or wh as eep amidst the engine roar of the
while de atever the head stewardess had said
a Ii.fe Vesmt onNstraf mg h ow to manually inflate
bags wouid hormally the complementary twO
tiple "Ou F ave been enough, but the mul-
crashing rreallathcer"sse h sai.d to quell her fear of
Sh h. y reated some temptation.
seat andeSIftsh er weligzhtt Im the 80s orange
etl.ng her turn.s towar d s th e aisle to avoid cov-
1eft is als nelghb' or s peanuts. The man to her-
surrounde0d absleep ,na d shee nnoottiices that she I.S
planes. Aft y people who luckily can sleep on
an other p er cont emp 1a·nng th e necessity of
tn.p with rayer ' so sh e can make it the whole
d.eCldes inOUt hdavin g to use th e bathroom she
ingOUt Dstea to rea d her book. Before p' ull-
conservativan1 Brow.'ns D'a Vinci Code from her
bothelyeft and .solid bl ack tote bag she looks
might see h nght. God forbid that someone
wrong idea erHreadi ~g suc h a novel, and get the
had gotten· erhfnends in the town book club
obI.Igated to cbaug t u p m. th e hype, so she felt
With th ebcome th e d efCender of the faith.
tr.a y table, note. ookh cover pressed closely to the
tion, she finds hin t e upng. ht and locked posi-
and over. Sh ersel,fa re dimg th e same line over
Kni gh ts TempIe canbt fo cus on any mysterious
ar, ut instea d can only think
of salty goodness. Sometimes she likes to suck
on the peanut for a while to taste the coating
before she chomps down. The crunch itself is
also very satisfying, and that is what putS pea-
nuts ahead of other salty snack foods such as
chips or pretzels.
Her peanut haze is interrupted by the
rhythmically challenged snoring coming from
the peanut-less neighbor. His mouth is open
and generating just enough drool to turn his
hypothetical lover's aubade into a joyous poem,
while his aromatic breath keeps the thought of
peanuts fresh in her mind. The beverage and
snack cart shakes with some turbulence, but as
she looks back she sees all of the stewardesses
taking part in the smidgen of free time. With
no stewardesses there will not be any more pea-
nuts! This thought causes her to reach up and
twist the knob of her personal AC blower and
to loosen her seat buckle. She scrambles to
place Dan Brown back in her bag and stoWSit
securely under the seat in front of her.
It has become unbearable now. "What
would Jesus do?" has become "What would
Jesus do for that last pack of peanuts?" Ev-
ery bible scene she pictures now has peanuty
motif. She paniCS and says aloud to herself,
''Abh since when does the sower plant peanut
seeds?" Any hymn she tries to hum becomes
transformed into television jingles for candy
bars containing peanuts swimming in a sea of
caramel. Breathing as if she just finished a race
she begins to rummage through her bag for
anything to satiate this temptation. There is
nothing. She has her bible, her pocket-sized