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Mama Watches Goldfish

Mama watches goldfish. For hours she stares at their tails swishing back
and forth through the bubbling water like tattered sails. Sometimes she
pulls me close, tells me about the different fish, and points to them. Watch-
ing her gently touching the glass, the tank seems more sturdy than the fake
mahogany cabinet that supports it. Dad says it's ridiculous to watch
something that swims around in circles, going nowhere. Mom says it's
better than watching him. Dad laughs.

      One day last summer Mom went to watch the fish and found their
bellies floating like yolks of eggs sunny side up. Dipping his fingers into
the water, Dad decided the heater had gone berserk and boiled the fish alive.
"To bad they weren't fried," he said. "At least we could have munched on
them. Maybe now you'll have time to do something useful for a change."

      For the rest of the day Mom frantically pushed her wheelchair around
the house, just missing the towers of newspapers stacked in every comer.
She ran her fingers along the cracks in the sunshine yellow walls, turned the
faucets in the bathroom that haven't worked in years, and opened the front
door letting in all bugs through the gaping holes in the screen.

      That night Dad went out and came back with a bag filled with dozens
of goldfish and there was a big releasing ceremony. Afterwards, Dad even
sat next to Mom for a while, holding her hand and watching goldfish.

                                                                  Kristine Holland

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