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111lVlJbecome this yt':LI"! You Illay also quote rue 11$ saying that 1 lim strongly opposed to the mastication of tobacco on Sundays nnd week-days. Yes, I find that a constant perusal of the Bible is very helpful and besides it looks when a visitor comes into OIlC'S room. You might have been a member of the Faculty, you know. Drop around ugnin unri if I am not too busy preparing my Sunday-school lesson J'll be glad to talk baseball or politics with you. Good morning." . Our representative respectfully bowed himself out and ,lfi he went down the stairs scratched his head thought- fully and ejaculated, "Whew." Interview with Mr. Pfitsch The ALOHA reporter slid himself into his best attire preparatory to calling on Mr. Pfitseh. It was with mingled Ieelings of awe and anticipation that om humble representative knocked 011 the door of Mr. P6tsch's room. The door was opened by Lester, the office boy, who bowed politely and said he would see if his muster was receiving callers. After :1 suitable interval Lester Game back and admitted our represeutntive to tho august presence of Western Mary- land's great wire manipUlator, lady-killer and orphan asylum. A soft green light, carefully concealed, suffused the room and contents with a quiet somberness. Countless portraits of beautiful women were scattered about in reckless confusion. On many of these were in round feminine handwriting. The reporter noticed cue of them because of its delicacy of thought. diction and style: "All', kid, yuh flint treatin' me right.." 1\1r. Pfitscf met the admiring of OUt· IWCi rcmurknd with a knowing wink: "Ah, there's many a shuttered hello!"tlying in the but tush, tush, let's not speak of that subject furt-her." The reporter appreciated his inherent modesty and from questioning the great man on his numerous affairs of tho heart. The main object of t.he reporter's visit was to find out how Mr. Pfitsch stood on the recent. Y. M. C. A. elections. The substence of the great leader's remro-ks was as follows: "For years I have been closely in touch with western Muryl.md politics. By great exercise 01" will power I have kept myself in the background and allowed others to usurp the honors, but you can't keepagood mnu down and the students have clamored for my name at nearly all the elections lately." (Note--B}' "the students" Mr. Pfitsch meant Lester and the "My recent master-stroke in the Y. M. C. A. election is now well known, and it failed of completion, quote the words of a famous general, 'Nothing was lost but honor,' or something that." As Lester opened the door 1"01' him and kicked the dog out of the way, the poodle being called" Jimmie," our reporter filled his lungs with sweet fresh air and sauntered thoughtfully down the ball. 174