Page 139 - YB1899
P. 139
O~¢rb¢ar"in tb¢ Pantry. A few mornings ago, while taking my morning stroll, I chanced to pass by the pantry window, Attracted by the sound of queer and unnatural voices, I paused to listen. I approached the window and beheld the strangest sight imaginable. It was a convention of the edibles. I stood where I could hear, and the following conversation reached my ears: Bread.-Oh, me! I feel like one of Professor Simpson's jokes. Cabbage.-How is that? Bread.-I am so stale. Cabbage.-I am not stale, but I have a pain in my head. Bread.-Where else could it be? you're all head. Why, hello, Milk! How are you this morning? Milk.-I'm almost foundered. That nigger just poured a half a gallon of water into me. Don't I look thin? Potato.-Oh, that's nothing. The old fool put me in the oven and shut the door. So now I am as dryas a bone. • Cabbage.-That's not why you look so pale. You're in love. AI1.-POotatOo in love! Cabbage.- Yes, he's in love with his dear sweet Potato. Look coming! Why, Coffee, what are you doing on that crutch? Coffee.-I am so weak I have to use it. Bread.-My goodness! Look at Cheese hopping around there in the corner. Say, Cheese, what has gotten into you anyway? Cheese.-Skippers! Skippers! Bread.-Everybody appears to be ailing. I know I would like to break that nigger's head for cutting me like he did to-day. Meat.-Shut up! You are too blamed crusty! Milk.-Oh, that horrid creature; he is entirely too tough! He is really swearing. Meat.-Well, I guess you would cuss, too, if you had been here as long as I have. I've been cooked four times this week and have had the boys sticking their forks in my sides till I am sore. I am getting too old to be handled so rudely. Egg.-How old are you, Meat? Meat.-I was fourteen my last birthday. You needn't talk, though; you are no spring chicken. Egg.-Fro111 the way my sides ache I think I will be in a few days, though. Bread.-Say, fellows, why is Egg like a forlorn-looking student coming out of Dr. Ward's room? AI1.-Give it up! Bread.-Because he's been "set on." Ha! ha! 129
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