Page 2 - TheGoldBug1953-54

2 The Gold Bug, Sept. 25, 1953 View4 ... ~ Iionot\.e at.... IGBE---Moving ./I Tee'? A C.sr: Of Mutual Respect . . . '(~ (r.?;\ .1'~ P And Mosquitoes ~.._~ \ ( 0 The bug-splattered headlights of 1 'I.¢I/"/. trYSi~~O:l~t~~bn::hin~i~:i:e~:~tcae~ftY~n~a~v1~~a~~~~i:st~~dco~~=\._~~~_~~~ ii~~::~e~~:\c!~;l:~e:~~d~~~ri~a::!~ torials philosophizing deeply on the beginning of another year. Shake the sand out of your obviousthat said scene,unlike its il- "How shall I murder him, Iago?" Good for them. The only trouble is, sage words of advice to shoes, cash the last pay check iuminator, was composedof one,inert -Shakespeare, Othello, IV, i. freshmen, spirited wishes of luck to the football team, and cajolings between you, June and a element: Mr. I'm GoingBack Early:- 1 see by my shockproof sundial that to battered upperclassmen to "buckle down, study, make the most "bus-ted" wallet and get back. bound for WMC. The car sped on, Its Old Man Time has been slithering of your college careers" go, for the most part, unnoticed in campus To what? What else? pistons rumbling something about around tapping us on the hindquarters papers. Like it or not, the time for nothing around here (cough) looking again. Well, I'm ready for him this So we'll make our words of wisdom in this first issue as to-the- beanies, books, and bull sessions much like (choke, spit) Dimaggio. time. Or at least I was until last week. point and cliche-free as our office dictionary and Thesaurus will al- is back. The aforementioned Brother IGBE I had prepared a rather beautiful, low: The S.G.A._has already begun was alone but for a Schlitz second resplendent, and scintillating - yet Welcome Class of '57 Hope you like the place and hope It likes to function freely under the following the passing of the car, for vague-speech glorifying the incom- you By now, you've probably heard plenty about adjusting to col- leadership of Arnie Hayward he was even then opening the summer- ing Frosh, attempting to impress lege, and so on Advice from Ye Old GB' study fair-ly hard fairly and Pasty He.rman, new prexy ;·~;!~~o,~:~~~in:: u:ht~e ~~l~~t:i;;i~; upon them the traditions of the school, often, keep smiling, write home once in a while, and listen to your ,-_and veep respectively.. f h S in front of a conglomerated load of the honor they would inherit, and the advisers and big brothers and sisters-they usually know what At the recent meeting 0 t e tu- easy chairs, linens, and a few clothes. leadership they could provide iii the they're talking about. Chances are, a year from now you'll be back dent ?ovemment held on Wednesday years to come. .... When the manuscript was finished, on the hill as sophomores. ~tVi~~~:w~:~m~ft~~ud~:~Fa;~~!~n~~~ College Joe and Dough I chuckled and quickly confettied it. Good luck, Class of '57. Western Maryland is glad to have you. This committee should end a lot of Picking up his keys, accumulated No one would have fallen for that bills. and noticing that Ward Hall had "red tape" in the future planning of finally broken its fifty-eight years of syrupy line of dialogue written by a Advice And Luck ... organizations ·and individuals on the teetotaling and installed a new Coke reluctant author. The only thing to Hill. For further information read the machine, he entered his room and do was to drag in my own honest Up above we were sounding off about campus newspapers, minutes on the bulletin board in front opinions about Freshmen and hope among other things, which is one of our favorite SUbjects. The first of Old Main or ask an S.G.A. member. began another spree of watching five the roof wouldn't cave in on me. hundred dollars evaporate. issue of the year is a good opportunity to talk about ourselves. Doctor Ensor's speedy action (11 Yes, he'd been clever last year. He To begin with, I. believe that all (We're quite modest, and don't talk about ourselves in other Iseues.) minutes to be exact) in obtaining the and his roommate had made all their Freshmen have a motive in coming to We think principles are good, so we have a few. We also have education workshop for future S.G.A. plans as to who would bring what- college. They want something. Rather objectives, scruples, and policies, but mainly we have principles. meetings also deserved and received long before May's exams. than expostulate on this axiom in It's going to be a long year; there's a lot of months and a lot of is- a round of applause from those at- Craftily, our friend Iota Gamma detail, I have simply drawn up the sues between now and June, so we think the school and its paper tending. • Beta Epsilon had taken the needed table below (stolen from authentic should understand each other. Right? "I'm not always this fast. Arnold," curtain measurements many months government statistics). It catalogs Summed up, all the GOLD BUG's principles mean one thing: was the President's only reply to this before; and, his mother had bought with precentages the seven most com- for mon motives given by Freshmen "service to the college." Service through the presentation, as best we spontaneous bit of acclaim. the material and had slaved half the coming to college. can, of news. Service through entertainment-features, cartoons, summer away-sewing these-accord- at decent least and stories. And also (and this is a big one) service through the Word has it that Doc. Marshall is ing to his precise specifications. Now, L To find companion one .__32% drinking presentation of student opinion. off for some study and will be on a having been satisfactorily hung, they 2. To. find 'llULny decent drinking By the means of editorials and letters to the editor, The GOLD leave of absence for a semester or two. (mother and son) dangled a full foot companions ._. ._. 28'70 BUG can present views and counterviews, opinions and arguments, above the window sill. Recently, some 3. To break down pro-prohibition Chapel has drawn on the many problems, large and small, which arise on our campus. discussion. services are again under wit, to dispel heartburn, each delin- tendencies .... ... 14% in pairs of legs under arrangement The present In our editorials we will continue to obserVe and criticize ob- will be continued unless there is some quent drape's end- thus producing a 4. To strengthen anti-prohibition jectively all manner of campus events. In letters, you, Mr. Student, crystaJized student opinion favoring Jacques Fath creation, controversial beliefs ..... ._. 10% and you, Mr. Faculty Member, can make known your views on a change. Some alternatives that hemline and all. 5. To get away from parents who too campus events. " have been suggested are: Aside from forgetting a pillow and beverages strict about alcoholic arc ...__.__7% __. We feel that this is one of the most important duties of a 1) Holding chapel services on an. discovering that the administration socially school paper. other day of the week; 2) Hav- hadn't cauldroned up enough steam to 6. Those who only drink to find a want and therefore hydrogen shove that hyd- hot, dirty Our issue of February 10, 1953 put it very nicely: "Although ing specified of seating with the on roxide as far as "the room next door", place that's more sociable. 4'1o elimination segregation this service is frequently overlooked, it is indeed an important one. our third person singular subject was 7. To get an education. .._..2'10 Discuss those topics which you consider unsatisfactory or inade- the basis of sex; 3) Freedom of fairly well-decided that his biggest Of course, you might add up the quate. Letters to the editor will always be welcomed. choice in the selection of a seat. mistake was being an upperclassman column and find that it totals only It should be pointed out, however, "Take an active interest in your GOLD BUG so that it, in turn, that this third possibility presents -the Class of '57 didn't know what it 97'1<. The remainder were in no condi- ~tteuerve you." difficult but not..insurmountable prob; was like to have had it so good. tion to give a cohesive reply to the inquiry due to the influence of--oh, lems in keeping attendance records. The evening was dragged to the forget it. If these or any other suggestions lengths of attaining that "some en- appeal to you, contact your S.G.A. chanted" status by the following I understand that Freshman girls representative and tell him about it. ~~~;;oeice:h - d\h Dahhh episodium- were submitted to a comprehensive Before you begin "bending" your character examination. (Boys were MR. PHILIP E. UHRIG representative's ear, it should be noted Incensed Abroad exempted. It was taken for. granted at that one suggestion cannot be ac- To spare the unaccustomed eye, I'll the outset that all males are devoid of During these first, getting-ac- of this when, they say, there's money cepted. Chapel services must be held. briefly sum up the overture by saying quainted weeks of college life on the in oil!) It's in the book!' that, while engaging innocently in the any vir tue.) Anyway the femmes campus, it is only appropriate that In addition to his academic work, 3-D (Darn, Drat, and Amsterdam) had to answer some' embarrassing this column's initial spotlight should he was a member of the University's All lost, strayed, or stolen would be feat of unpacking, IGBE committed questions such as the excerpts below. fall on our personable Director of tennis team; and, in his last year journalists, freshman or otherwise, the eighth sin-he left the lights on r realiy wasn't supposed to show these gems to a soul-but Public Relations, Mr. Philip E. Uhrig. who have not yet contributed their ill the room. To clear up any strays scoop, you know. a scoop is a A man whose genial personality ~~:::~e~.~u~~~Zte~i:o:~ :~~:~~~;~:~~ talents to the staff should plan to do and thoughts: thereby adjectived, I'll makes him an immediate and long- the familial', inescapable "Love One". so. No matter whether you're a genius venture even farther upon this picaed Part VI-Associations With Boys standing favorite at WMC, his inter- Consequently, and with but little fur- or an idiot, an upperclassman or a limb and say that he left the lights Answer "Yes," "No," or "No, but ests are as varied as is his history. ther urging from the archer, he mar- student, the GOLD BUG has a place on because he couldn't see to unpack I would have liked to." To illustrate the latter: Three sec- ried Ruth Shreeve, a girl from West- for you. . without doing so. 11. Have you ever been kissed: tions of America could juat.ly lay minster. If you fill any, all, or none of these You see, you victltma of the free (a.) by a werewolf? claim to him-he's a native of Phil- MOving Around requirements, be sure to attend the press moequuoee are stiU do-cs-doing (b.) by a boy with a mouth, adelphia, spent his childhood in Bev- But, this "Way East" was not first meeting for prospective staff the "Grand Mardi from Aides" in the erly, N. J. (home of Kay Gates, '53), realized until after he had served as: members, Thursday, October 1, at early verses of "September Song" ful of hot spinach? and "grew up" in Tucson, Ariz. 6:30 p. m. irl the subterranean office around hyar, The frost ain't on the (c.) While having a tooth Grammar school, high school, and col- :heN~~~:~a:O~:k N:~::~~~ ~to:~~e~~ in McKinstry. pumpkin yet for the same reason filled? lege educations followed his obedience (just north of the Mexican border), Just knock twice and ask for, Gus. that this year's fodder in the shock is 12. Do you think Kinsey is telling .- the truth? and, with Uncle Sam's assistance an going to appear mighty flat-chested- If so, how do you know? air-ground radio operator in 'the Nature's summer savings are a bit Part VIII-Sanity Armed Forces-stationed in New ruptured. 27. Do you like to think of your- Guinea and other Pacific bases. (Continued on Page 4) self as the Last of the Mo- Following the war, dry Tucson 'was hicans? finally forsaken for rolling Carroll 49. Check whichever phrase most County, :Maryland, 'where he taught nearly applies to you: science and phy!iical education at the (a.) Ulna, back view New Windsor High School from 1946 (b.) Razor-billed Auk to 1948. (c.) 3.72% At the end of this time, Western G. G. Maryland's gates received this man- first, as a student successfully striv- ing toward his Master's Degree. His potentialities didn't long escape no- THE GOLD BUG tice on "the Hill"-in 1949, he was named to his present positions on the la!"!r\j~i\:.~~d~~tli.j,'::t::!'i.~o~h!;eo;;:. ~~: J• .,u,.. ·y. F..b- campus: Director of Public Relations, day, durin&' Oetober. Aprll. Novemb~r, monthly durlnlr and March and ruo.ry. soccer coach, and Executive Secretary . Sl!J!tembe •• n""'ember. and May. En""r~ .. pf the Alumni Association. ~~J':rd ~hl:'1o'r~yeM::er::'~~ne~te!: P.,.t 0111.0.. Needless to say, he's one of the most difficult persons to find at WMC. There is hardly a day's bulletin board Mr. Philip E. Uhrig which doesn't carry the notice of at least one meeting "in Mr. Uhrig's Office". to Horace Greeley's advice and, in Then, at the end of a day of confer_ Editor-in_Chief_ ..~ __ _ Editor. A•• ociate 1941, he received his A.B. degree ences, soccer practice, more meetings, (pursuing an Anthropology Major ana further plans and achievements, ~:~:g;;d~toE~i~:=::::~: _ and Geology Minor) from the Univer- thIS, our all·around official, retires to Feature EditQr _ sity of Arizona. one of his very favorite spots-home, New"_Feature F.ditors_ ._. COpy Editl!r Mr. Uhrig begal]. college "with my and his family. Photography _ mind set on preparing for a career Indeed, it requires but little ef- Business Manager Paul Lambertson, '54 as a petroleum geologist but got so fort to understand why Public Rela- Ad~ertising Manager .Jim Mamhall. '5& interested in the archeology of the tions Direc¥lr is capitalized_Mr. EXchanl)"e .~Craig Scbmall. '55 CONTRIBUTORS Southwest that J dccided to changc Philip E. Uhrig is one of the chief Bil! Tribby. Sam Mann, Joalj. Halter. Mr •. E. my major field to .anthropology." (All ~~".S'ij'.mo~ier~ev Reiber. Mis" M. Manahan,