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CONTRAST - 31

DOPE

BY KAILAN HUTCHISON

A big round 0 with bravado
I like the way you say it
weighted and full to the brim
as you tap the cute little French Korean face mask package
so it smells slightly of rose and red ginseng
and so no one gets suspicious

I nod yes, yes, I remember it's there
but I will check on it every now and again
(even though I'm against it all)
simply because I want to hear your word you know
so well that it has aged with you
(in the era of lost meaning in the little words, even though you never take them
for granted)
and I want to see you tap tap
on your left pocket
the one closer to me
and wink

I crawl towards you as you roll
your fingers moving slow
but your eyes closed
to show me that it's easy
I kiss your amaretto fingers
and mess you up
but it's okay because there's no rush
and I have Baccarin lips you say
(lips that take antibiotics with hot tea
that hold a dry hush-hush voice
that carry this smile
this scrunch, this discreet imitation I obtain from the corners of my eyes
yet you still don't know where it comes from)
These lips taste better than this rolling paper
and this green that tastes not of red ginseng
like I thought maybe it would

I love you and I love what you love
even though I have never touched it
except when I moved it into this pretty package
because you love that I do things like that
and that I watch you so closely blowing smoke away from my face
and tap tapping the ash
and not speaking
your thumb moving up and down softly under my jawline
holding my neck up when it falls
because it always does when your hand is there

(because I never have to hold my head up for you)