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Stick to your opinion. This makes it seem like you did the
reading and that you even thought about it. Referring to the
collective readings for the class will, again, give you more
credibility and makes you seem insightful.

That’s how you bullshit a fellow student. Not too dif-
ficult. Bullshitting a professor about a reading is a bit trickier.
They’ve read the text about a hundred times and know every in-
telligent comment and every idiotic comment that you can make
about the novel. The goal of bullshitting a professor therefore, is
never to completely fool them. You just want to keep them from
asking you questions designed to test whether or not you’ve
done the reading.

Here’s how you pull it off (assuming this is the same
scenario as the student example):
Professor: Let’s get started. So before we begin to talk about
Henrietta Blithe, I just wanted to gather some general reactions
from last night’s reading: Blithe’s Sojourn in Bloomington.

This is simply an example of an open-ended question
your professor might use to start class. This is when your
bullshit has to happen. It has to happen quickly and it has
to be effective, your bullshitting will be useless to you.
You: Studious Classmate and I were just talking about this. We
couldn’t really decide whether or not Lord Hamilton has any
redeemable qualities. I think he does, but that’s just my opinion.
Your comment has to be vague, but still at least a little bit
insightful. Mentioning the bullshit conversation you just
had with your studious classmate will make it seem not
only like you did the reading, but also that you are really
into it. Using what you gathered from your conversation
with your studious classmate is perfect for not only laying
the foundation for your bullshit. This also allows you to
mention a specific detail from the text, which builds your

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