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The Standard Scenario: You were supposed to have completed a
short story for this class, but instead you spent most of my time
watching Adventure Time or doing something else not worth
20,000 dollars worth of scholarship. In order to successfully
bullshit, you have to begin before class even starts, just as other
students are trickling into the room.
You: Did you do the reading last night?

Initiate this conversation with a studious classmate. This
has to be the studious, opinionated, talkative classmate, or
else this won’t work very well. This gives you immediate
credibility. It’s an innocent question that doesn’t indicate
whether or not you actually did the reading.
Studious Classmate: Yeah. Sure was long though.
You: Yeah, I know. But it was good.
It’s important to agree with whatever he or she says here.
Offering an opinion of the text also gives you more
credibility.
Studious Classmate: Yeah, but I hated Lord Hamilton. Probably
the worst father we’ve read about this semester.
You’re probably thinking “who the fuck is Lord Hamilton?”
Hopefully your Professor won’t ask about him, but he or
she probably will. New objective is to get some more out of
this kid.
You: I actually liked Lord Hamilton.
Disagreeing will cause him or her to say more.
Studious Classmate: What!? Ok, I guess he was a good father,
but that totally doesn’t redeem him as a husband.
Bingo. Some dude named “Lord Hamilton” from last
night’s reading was a good father. Perfect. Now you know
something you can use in class. Time to wrap this up, but
not before slathering another spoonful of bullshit onto this
Shit Sundae.
You: I don’t know, I didn’t think he was that bad. Plus, we
haven’t read about too many good fathers so far in this class.

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