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lead him into Jackie's playroom her'bottom wiggled under his~

eyes in the delectable shape'of a halved orange. Her midriff

w~s bare aldo" until her short tank-top took over; but
the thin black ora straps were giggling off her shoulders
as she'went; and he wondered why she had to look so good
on th~ efay'he .wa s going to die. She was careless as ever,
slappi,ng'her pink and black hair over her shoulder, kicking

the loose blocks and action figu.resinto a pile. One of the
toys he'd bought for Jackie's last birthday was lying there
with its head popped off; a very menacing headless Hulk
with scribbles allover his purple pant§. Bethany hollered
,for Jackie-like Brady remembered his ,mother calling for the
,'family's old Labrador-an<:i':their son, 'a mess of strawberry

jam and finger paints, screamed into the room and grabbed

Brad::,:'csalves.
"Daddy,:' Jackie said, looking up wi t.h vast gray eyes,

"see 'my new pet, my first pet. n
-"Pet?"'.Brady repeated. He glanced at Bethany and she

wiggled"her"shoulders, a thin, lazy smile on her taunting,
electric mauve lips. The rope sitting beneath his window
seemed to circle his throat right then and there, beginning

the deadly compression. Vaguely he felt Jackie's pudgy
thumb against his palm, and then they were going through

the kitchen, down the hall, up the stairs, and all the
time 'the boy was chattering on about Spongebob. They went

straight for Jackie's room-the boy had led the way eagerly,
oblivious-and for a mom;nt Brady hesitated, standing in the
doorway and eying the room at the end of the corridor. The

door was cracked, and in the mirror beyond Brady caught a
viBion of himself and a pink satin robe laid on flowered
sheets ',that swept over the edqe of the mattress. The boy

tugged on his hand, too far away for attention. Brady let
go of the small fingers and stared. Closer than feeling the
softness of the fabric and the air and the scent was the

whisper of something else;' darkness and fearlessness, the
'unashamed .memory of lace against the backs of his fingers.
Th'ere was a ,brief lull, a kind of fleeting joy that 'he hadnt
r'emembe'red to' miss; not even that night she'd kicked him '

'out, when he'd sheltered h~mself in some ratty mot~l just
off the highway, not even then had he allowed himself the

consideration of feeling lonely or sorry or betrayed. NOW,
'the sE7ntiment passed as quickly as he, crossed the threshold

into',Jackie's room. I

-~"His name's Patrick," Jackie said, bouncing in his

Velcro sneakers and p res si nq his chin on the neon green
Playskool table. A white: and orange goldfish was flitting in a
frantic circle ar~und the perimeter of a glass bowl. "He's
my f ri.eri,d my best one." Brady knelt 'on the floor with hi's
hand on the back of Jackie's striped shirt. It wasn't an act