Page 13 - Contrast1997

world so brilliantly. Wondering what Ariel
would have said, what color his thoughts
would have been that morning, I managed to
hold up my head - but I could not stop from
crying. Their laughter was harsher than their
words.
The music of their voices was cacophonous;
but the Island was silent. I was allowed one
dream-sleep before they banished me; but the
Island did not sing goodbye. I was devastated.
I had known the Island longer than any of
them; I was the Island's own child.
Banishment for what?? All night long I
pleaded with the world, searching for some
semblance of meaning and of fairness.
I cried aloud the next morning, when they
came to set me on my way. "Doesn't it mean
anything," I pleaded with them all, "that I
mean something different to each of you?"
"What do you mean?" Ferdinand's gentle
voice was strident that morning; I think he was Island I memorized the salt smell of my air-
trying too desperately to understand. He was
not bad at heart.
His words danced through my mind: "What
do you mean, what do you mean, what do
you mean?"
Then, I was alone on a raft, bound and on
my back. I looked up at the wideness of the
aching sky, begging for another chance. But
the rope that anchored me to my Island was
in Theseus' hands, and I knew my chances
were slim.
"Haven't you ever noticed that you all call
me by different names? Doesn't that at least
strike you as strange?" I touched different
memories in them all- I made each of them
think in different resonances ... different
thought-colors. What did I mean?
"I don't know what you're talking about,
crazy old woman!" All their voices were fran-
tic, and then faded into silence. I was flat on homesick for a place that I had never even
my back on the ocean, with the whole wide
sky above me.
I remember dimly thinking that I should
have been glad; that I was free, but I could
only weep and mourn for my Island and my
Ariel. He had not even come to me to say
goodbye. If anyone could have changed their
minds, I know Ariel could have. But he did
not, and I was crushed; longing for just a single
color of a thought. Even the memory of
Hamlet's clever words paled in comparison
with a single color of Ariel's kindness.
I realized too late that maybe I was in love
with him - but Ariel was not human. He
understood more than I ever could; and I al-
~ost hated him for it - hated him for being
right. He knew that I would be banished. The
morning he told me, warned me, I ignored
him, accused him. I told him he was unnec-
essarily crueL. His thoughts glowed purple,
I remember. That purple I labeled as cruelty
and I swore I would never talk to him again.
I took it back within the next day - for
Theseus and Shylock approached me before
the sun set. I never saw Ariel again. I was so
ashamed that I wanted to die; but more than
anything I just wanted to apologize ...
I learned about the sky, in those days; 1
learned about the sea. In the absence of the
and-water world; I learned the subtle song of
the Ocean itself. It was not so familiar as my
Island name-song, but deeper, more poignant
and heart-heard. I could not help but think
that the Sea-song knew the name of my Is-
land. Perhaps the Sea had given birth to my
Island - before anything had ever thought
of singing ...
I was alone for a long time, alone with the
salt glare and the distant heart-cries of the
gulls. It was all music; after a time I had
memorized it all.
I don't know when I first realized that I had
no food, that I had not eaten since my last day
on the Island. I guess it dawned on me then
_ on my back underneath the sky, eyes full
of clouds - that I wasn't human either.
Or at least I wasn't any more.
Every night I would lie on my back and lis-
ten to the stars singing. I memorized their
song too - stored it up inside of me just in
case. They were crystalline, aching songs -
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