Page 8 - Contrast1991Fall

EXCERPTs FROM THE GENERAL THOUGHTS OF NEIL ALAN GLENN

They say that to be a sUccessful writer. one should write something everyday.
I try to, even If It's Just the groc"ty ltst, .. , My r>arents are space Ilight freaks, le
I was unlucky enough to be born the day of the moon landing. When the Eag
landed. so did I-at Mercer General. In theft ultimate parental wisdom. they
dectded to name me after the astronauts. It could have been worse; they might
have named me after the space flight itself. Somehow Ijust don't see a third
grader named Apollo as a good thing. Idid. however. have no trouble pas sing the
history of space flight exam in the seventh grade .... One thing has always
bothered me. Who deCides how things should be? Who decided that we can't d

have blue M&Ms or green Good & Plenty? That baby girls should wear Pink an I

baby boys blUe? Who ever deCided that we must tum the clocks bac kin the fal
and ahead in the sPring? Furthennore. are they Willing to pay me for th at lost
hour? Who decided that New Year's should immediately follow Christmas?
Couldn't they spread the hOlidays out a little more? How do they figure that
Dick is short for Richard, anyway? .... As a budding writer. I have always
wanted to live in the city. but somehow Idon't think Petunia, my pig. would
enjoy Manhattan.... The trouble With being an artist is that you spend so little
tlme doing What you really want to be doing so that you can eat. I thin k that
most of the world ,s lllajor cities Would plunge into chaos if every' artis t devoted
himself to his craft. After all. Who would wait tables or carry luggage? Ta~e IJle
for Instance. I work the 10 pm to 6 am shJft at the 7-1 I. I bet you never III
thought about the type of people Who go to 7-llat 2 am. Normal people are
bed. unless they're drunk and in search of legal stimulants. or six months
pregnant and desftous of pickles and ice cream. If you've ever wante d t0 know
when people like Nonnan Bates go for groceries. come Visit me at 2 am some
morning ....

-Tammle Gut

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