Page 11 - Contrast1962v6n1

This selection received first prize in the essay
division of CONTRAST'S writing contest.

the sham

by dianne briggs

THE AIR was laden with many things at the party that night-
music punctuated by brash laughter, the chatter of egos as
people leaned forward on back-turned chairs to expose their thoughts,
words swirling like grains of sand in a devil's dance as first one speaker
a~ld then another snatched the conversation and turned it for his own
purposes, smoke drifting aimlessly around the room, and odors of
potato chips, mints, and human scent mingling with the sickly-sweet
incense of various perfumes.

Sitting by myself beside an open window, I was conscious of a
vague uneasiness stirring within me. A chilled breeze swept past me
into the room, and I felt as if I were between two windows-the one,
an opaque pane which hid the coolness outside and the other, a trans-
parent pane which revealed the figures of some chimera. With fascin-
ation I watched the dividing and excluding of circles formed for the
convenience of their members who watched each other with shuttered
eyes and smiled. The kaleidoscope of color produced by dancing
couples shifted constantly, blending and mixing the glittering smiles
and harlequin hues in a myriad of patterns like chips of colored glass.
The room seemed to expand and contract with the shadows of the
dancers, and even the smoothly-polished faces which always smiled
were distorted until I saw only crusted leers extended over each. The
music and noise ran together in the discord of a scratched record re-
peating itself. Watching an anxious, smiling face striving for accept-
ance in one of the circles, I was suddenly repulsed by the canvas in
stereotype before me. A streak of lightning outside focused my atten-
tion on the dark pane, and I had the desire to escape. I wanted to
scrape off the social veneer which stifled my individuality and coated
my thoughts with guilts and complexes.

Embracing me in a protective cloak, the night air swirled around
me and sent chills quivering through my body. Trees moaned softly
in the wind as lightning electrified the air with the tension that comes
before a storm. With my hair whipping in my face, I felt as if I had
been transferred to some primitive land in which I was the sole
inhabitant. I was overcome by the same fear which must have gripped

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