Page 134 - YB1926_Classical

"As further achievements in the educational field, we are proud to state that four of the members of the Class of '26 have been retained on the faculty of Western Maryland University. These are Miss Baker, Miss Otto, Miss Ruth Benson, and Miss Taylor. One of our former members has returned to do graduate work here--Miss Marker, who is perfecting a food called Sawdust Souffle. Miss Bowers was recently granted a Ph. D., for discovering the dimensions of infinity. "In the fields of invention and discovery, we feel that the women of the Class of '26 have added much to science. Miss Blocher has invented a device that will induce a mouse to step into a trap without being coaxed, thus making college life bearable, while Miss Massey's invention of a new line is also a great aid to the college student. Miss Deffenbaugh has invented a magnetized tennis racquet which has won the championship for the university for the fourteen years, while Miss Sullivan has invented a camera that 10,000 limes, thus making a bigger and better Western Maryland. "Just a moment-we have just received word that owing to travelling conditions two of our members were unable to be present-Miss Hockensmith who is teaching the Chinese the correct use of chop-sticks and Miss Whaley, located on the Eastern Shore, who is teaching mosquitoes how to multiply. "To continue: To Miss Stubbs is due the credit of putting Tracy's Landing on the map, while Miss Turner recently created a great sensation by discovering the lost chord. Miss Turner tells us that Miss Virginia Pittman has for some years been engaged in trying to find the ingredients of Virginia Sunshine, and has already discovered one of them to be romance. Perhaps in the field of science this is the greatest contribution of the age. "Walk any day down the Main Street of Westminster. You will see, on one of the busiest corners, a large bank of which the President is Miss Long, and the principal stockholders Miss Leizeur, Miss Lenderking, Miss Somerville, Miss Conaway and Miss Wright. This bank was organized to fill a great need: a place where college students could deposit their pennies for safe keeping. Farther on you will see a very exclusive shop showing the latest thing in bathing suits. This shop is managed by Miss Chambers assisted by Miss Foutz. who, as we all expected, has become the world's greatest tailor. "Miss 'vVantz has become the social leader of Westminster. Recently she gave an elaborate garden party at which the guests of honor were Miss Dorothy Robinson, who for the past five years had held the honor of being Miss Amer-ica;' and has her own Motion Picture Company of which Miss Fisher is manager, and Miss Benson, who is posing for the slow motion camera. They went on an extended tour of the Eastern Shore, where they were entertained by Miss Mc'vVilliams, who for some years has been travelling and delivering her famous lecture 'The Riches of New England.' "TIl is has nut been a slow class by any means. Miss Moore and Miss Rice, employed by the Victor Talking Machine Company, have been heard all over the world and Miss Moore's latest record' A Mile a Minute' has broken all previous records put out by the Victor people.