Page 5 - Phoenix2002-03

COMMEN.TARY Wednesday, September 11, ~OO2• Page 5 An inspiring message nstead of class, just get a keg to the class of 2006 Colby Goodrum realizes r only had to work three days a ber for the rest of their lives, the there is no need for week, which for someone who hope it is the only time they wil Around this time last year, I ONLY reason we are all here. expensive taste. hates to work was a great thing. go through with it, but for me it' debated as to whether or not I The downside was that I usu- the same old thing just a differen Remember when you were ally worked for rich. snobby wed- day. should write a column of advice for 'ounger and on the first day of dings where there was either a ter- There is an alternative to the the Class of 2005. At the last second, I decided to .chocl your teacher would have rible bnnd or some lame OJ play- lame, prissy, thinking-your-going go with another (but equally as use- au talk about what you did over ing YMCA (damn those Village to-a-ball type weddings. less) idea, and look what happened: OUf summer vacation? People). Here's what Iwould do: fire th they changed the school's name. Well, Icannot really remember The biggest problem with DJ and get rid of the wedding cak Sorry about that, folks. oing this, I have seen this used in because the Dls are terrible and n But, in the spirit of "things orne stupid Gain laundry detergent Get rid of the one cats the wedding cake anyway could always be worse," I have ommercial. but Ido not really rc- With the saved money yo in this acnv- ember participating decided nOI to tempt fate and go ty. thirty dollar plated could higher a good band tha ahead with a column of advice for However. let's just pretend for dinners people only people would at least enjoy. the Class of 2006. he next few paragraphs that J am Get rid of the thirty dollar plate I promise, its just better this eat half of, the five dinners people only eat half of, th way for all of us. articipating. my summer primarily five different pieces of silverware I spent So. Class of 2006, here are a different pieces of and the fancy folded napkins. few words of advice that will hope- orking as a dishwasher. silverware, and the In place of all this frilly gar I did have a brief hiatus to the fully make the next four years (or hire Mountains for five days of bage get three kegs and have th more, for some of us) a little easier, iking, but other than that I was fancy folded wedding be pot luck. not to mention a whole lot more you have all been told countless I realize this puts me out of enjoyable. times since you arrived on campus, linging suds in the kitchen. napkins. summer job as a catering dish Had I known some of the fol- you really should" get involved" I was not an ordinary dish- washer but that is fine with me, a. lowing three years ago, I can only on and around campus. asher in that I did not work in a working at weddings is the con- I said, 1 hale to work. imagine how much smoother the The next four years of your life onventional kitchen, but rather at flicting emotions between the wed- -Colby Goodrum is a trip would have been will fly by so fast, and yet at the artous sites doing dishes for a ca- ding party and the caterers. junior English-Philosophy Alright, so maybe [ DID know same time hold limitless possibili- ering company. For the wedding party the day major. all this stuff three years ago, and I ties. The bonus of this setup was that is one they will probably remern- just chose to ignore it. Now is truly the time to feed ake a step off the pavement you interests, since, let's be hon- est, you will never have quite the Had I known some same amount of freedom to do so Tara Detlafranzia of the following EVER AGAIN. Just another sad deaths. ents readily supply the money fa truth for all of you, so get involved! addresses problems in Firemen and police officers will such purchases. three years ago, I On a related topic, give Greek society today. be glorified and criminals ignored. These are the same parents tha can only imagine Life a chance even if you are just a There somewhere exists this But the reality of bombs in Israel, wonder how other people's chil everyone said they'd never who how much smoother "Go Greek" but then found that it reat picture of The Beatles sitting Ireland, and possibly even Iraq of- dren grow up that way. Jorda n the greenest ten fiU the papers. of lawns, as if hav- writer Robert Fantasy the trip would have really was for them. world I've always been an advocate us of says that most good writers hav Icould buy and sell this whole 1 am glad news, and bad childhoods. been. place (and rename it Western Mary- Americans are now more aware of Idon't think that anyone has' land College, of course). the rest of the world (even if we perfect childhood. I always think about that pic- First piece of advice: take MY I was one of these people, and ure when I'm walking across cam- still print maps with North America In fact, it's more like most g word for all the following. Just try- wish I had given Greek life a us. as the center). people have admitted to having les ing to save you all time). chance long before I did. I think about the ability that Until I thought about it, though, than perfect lives, but so man It might go without saying, and A little advice I have been hey had to object to two societal walking across the grass to my 8:40 people haven't done that yet. it really should, but some people known to follow all too well: take ules at once: the banning of pot, when thinking in itself is a miracle, So many have not yet strumme just do not realize the importance a walk around campus in the early d the overuse of silly rules. a guitar, and even less have prob of keeping things clean until they morning hours at least once in your It feels great to walk across the ...the best things ably walked to class without touch get to college. four years here. assy areas of the quad, with just about our society ing mostly pavement. Realize it now: the cleanerev- Not only is it a great way to get he right amount of trees. It's hard to approve of thing erything stays, the less trouble you complex thinking done, but it will If Iweren't worried about those are the worst things, like pot-smoking. homosexuality will have down the line. After all, probably also be your only chance too. free love, and equality in times Iik personal health is a priceless thing. to share a quiet moment with the these, where hippie fashion is th To a similar end, being a col- campus. Trust me, it is worth the empus. the best things about our society are rage, while the ideals represente lege student has NOTHING to do extra effort of getting up early (or I used to live my summers in the worst things, too. by those threads are dying by th with drinking yourself stupid on of never going to sleep to begin ew Jersey; it would feel wonder- Take money. America loves second. the weekend (or, for that matter, the with, as Ihave been known to do). ul again to gel the calluses that money. I'm proud to have saved It's hard to admit that some 0 weekdays). That's another thing: "a11- orm as a result of barefooted money this summer and to hold a us must be better parents to ou While, in all fairness, a few nighters" are no fun AT ALL. ippiedom. campus job. It's our triumph, this children than our parents were t drinks can be all fun and good, Avoid them at all costs, and your And just like the calluses that wealth, but also our downfall. when you get down to it, it is just life will be much easier. The rest, o longer reappear since my sum- Our time is consumed earning But for most people it's abou not what we are here to do. I believe, is up to you all. ers have been spent earning and acquiring it, and society re- taking life and the world and all it Think of it this way: no bar has While there is much more than oney in an office building, I of- wards that desire. issues as the day passes. a $26,000+ cover charge. I could suggest, part of the college en fear that my necessary cynicism Children from wholesome I don't have anything agains Best piece of advice I could experience is figuring important as been quelled by the content- families practically grow up pavement. And sometimes it's aI give and yet still do not follow stuff out for yourself. ent arising from the joys of be- parentless now. right to knock down a few trees t myself: get the work done as soon I guess the only real personal ng a Senior. If their provocative underwear- create a parking lot (goodnes as possible. rule you need to survive college is I love this campus: the profes- style outer fashions are not enough knows this campus has to under Waiting to the last minute re- that you have to make your own ors, faculty, and students. indication, the rise in vacations and stand that). ally is no way to live, but Iexpect rules, and do this whole "college I feel comfortable in being familial bonding since September If you have to traverse mostl that you will all give it a shot once thing" on your own terms. yself, and I don't even feel dif- 11 th has only proven that we are a on pavement and concrete, I sug or twice .... or constantly for the next As hard as that may be along erent or worth more or-less than blind society. gest at least creating a route tha four years. Still, since it is not 10 the way, it is certainly worthwhile We will ourselves to spend time covers the Carpe Diem block of th late for you new students to form in the end. and money on and with our fami- small gazebo. good study habits, Iseriously sug- Work hard, play harder, and But what about what's on the lies. Maybe that will help you thi gest you hit the books before you good luck to everyone embarking elevision and in the newspapers Orner values seem to come first: about other things. hit anything else. on this journey of a lifetime. Make hat reach beyond Carroll County? Immediate needs for Eminem CDs Maybe the next day you'll Of course, the other side of the the most of the time you've got. arely, kidnapped children will be for little boys and JLo fake-out slut- walking on the grass. last two points is also worth plenty -Mike Wiles is a senior etumed to their parents, and coal wear for young females have the -Tara Dellafranzia is a of attention: studying also is not the English major. iners will be rescued from certain right to exist and be sold, but par- senior English major.