Page 25 - Contrast1988Spring

~s I ~ot older into high school, I became less afraid of
Mel, figuring I was big enough to fight off any lascivious
att~mpts on my body. He also paid less attention to me. Iwas
r~heved that I didn't have to deal with him anymore. At the
time, Icynically believed that he had found another young lad
t? u~e as his poster boy to pester and scare and lavish with a
IIfetlme supply of glossies.

I haven't seen or thought of Mel in years. My mom
p~oned me about a week ago to blah blah blah and catch up

v.:lth ITole.She mentioned in passing that Mel was recently

k!l1ed In a hit and run car accident. His tragic death and the
cIrcU~stances nagged at me. He was alone in the car and all
alone In the world, his mother having passed away a few years
ago. No one missed him that night. He had no one to wonder
or worry why he hadn't returned. His ever-present 35mm
was on the passenger seat=his only friend. I wonder if
anyone attended his funeral services. More importantly, I
Wonder if anyone really cares that he is gone. His death
proI?pted me to re-evaluate my relationship with him .. I now
reahze that he had no impure thoughts about me. LIke the
bogey-man or ghosties under the bed, my fears of Mel were
magnified by a child's active imagination. He liked me and
gave me friendship-sa friendship I would now term "slightly
o~f-beat," but to a child it was "wierd" and at nmes
fnght~ning. Because of my fear, Ipassively spurned his ~ilial
affectlon by ignoring and avoiding him whenever possIble.
He shared with me his one talent: photography. He g~ve to
me the one thing that he felt confident with. And that picture
of the battleship. I now realize how much pleasure he mu~t
have gotten from making it and presenting it to me. I dug It
out ?f an old box, scratched, dusty, yellowed. It~ou¥.ht about
the Inscription "to Tom My friend." To "my fnend echoed
and Ithought and thought. Maybe Ihadn't been so cruel.after
all. Perhaps, without realizing it, Ihad given him something.

Peter Saunders Hausler

Contrast Spring 1988 21