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Today I will turn on the news and solve the most captivating
crime
by paying close attention to the background of a B-Roll shot.
I will beat the greatest soccer player in the world in a soccer
game
right after winning forty games of Halo in a row without dying.
I will parallel park thirty times in a row in New York City.

Today I will talk with President Obama about gay marriage
about how easy the answers are.
I will eat multiple helpings of Hamburgers at that dirty dive off
of 140
get my photograph taken to be put onto the wall for others to
smile at,
most likely laugh.

Today I will get on the television
explain the meaning of life.
I will write the next big show on AMC.
I will be a good father today,
take my kids out for ice cream
maybe hold them in my arms,
tell them it is okay if that boy at school makes fun of them for
wearing a Pokémon shirt.

Today I will start a band and it will change music forever.
I will have all the right answers to all of the right questions.
I will know what you are thinking.
I will know how to respond.
I will know how to always be nice
never yell
never cry.

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