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I watched as she put back down her books, closing them and
then did the same with my papers on the desk. Ithought about the big
exam Ihad the next day, my parents screaming at me over the phone.
Was it all worth it?

Daiyu started to switch off the desk lights one by one, doing
hers first and then letting her fingers linger on my light, while she sat
with her legs around my hips. And then with a flick of her wrist, the
light was off and Iwas feeling her hands allover me.

Yes.It was worth it.

As Ilet her lips slide allover my body, pulling off my clothes
one by one, Ikissed her neck and any soft skin of hers that Icould find.
Ipulled off her shirt, not thinking and just letting it happen, letting
myself enjoy the life Ihad, for once. And then falling down together on
the floor, kissing each other, we were lovers.

Making love to her was too perfect. And every night after-
wards, we always came back to the library, working on homework until
the last student staggered out, only to find each other in the darkness
again.

My hands slip on the doorframe. Three minutes now. It is
probably too late for rescue now anyways. Ifeel my circulatory system
shutting down, vein by vein. Water and dissolved gas starts to bubble up,
blocking all blood flow. Iremember the feeling of rocks in my shoes, but
now my arms feel like they're filled with boulders, bursting my skin at
the seams. Only a few more seconds now.

Imarried her two years later, after we graduated. It took a
lot of convincing my parents that Iwas ready. It was exactly what we
wanted in that moment and nothing less. She wanted an outside wed-
ding and one as far away as possible from a church. She said churches
made her uncomfortable like she was being judged for premarital sex.

We settled down in Bejing and worked long, hard hours. I
was pursuing my Ph.D at night while working as a advisor for the WSP
base in Shanghai. She took up teaching at a local university. But we still
found time to find each other again after all of it. And it was on one of
those sleepless nights that we conceived Jianyu. Idecided on the name
because it meant "the creator of universes" in Old Mandarin.

Ihad always had a dream of going up into space as an astro-

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