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ting ready to go.

"Are you leaving?" asked Rabbi Blatt, warmly concerned.

"I'm really sorry:' I muttered. "I shouldn't have come and used
up your time."

"Now hold on:' said Rabbi Blatt, not angry but clearly con-
cerned. "You haven't done anything wrong, Pat! Sit down a little longer
and maybe we can work this through?"

"There's nothing to work through, Rabbi Blatt;' Isaid, forget-
ting completely for the moment that he preferred to be called David.
"I came for the wrong reasons and it was stupid of me. lfeellike I
shouldn't be here."

"Pat;' he said. "Sit down for a second."

Isat down again, still embarrassed and ashamed.

"Pat, listen: you're a young man, you're going to have your
outbursts of uncontrollable desire and that's OK, for now." His voice
softened as he realized he had once again gained my full attention. "The
world is a confusing place- I've been here for sixty-eight years: and I
still don't fully understand it. But that's why I'm here, that's why we're
all here. Ifyou apply yourself, sometimes you can find guidance within
this book;' he said, pointing to his leather-bound Torah.

He continued: "Now, I'm going to offer you something, and
you don't have to take it if you don't want to. But Ithink, maybe, it can
help you make some sense of this crazy world if you give it a chance."
He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a book-a copy of the
Torah-and a few pamphlets printed on various colors of paper. "What
Iwant you to do is take a look through these and then come back to
see me next Tuesday. Ialso think it would be good of you to come to
the Shabbos services on Saturday, and leave your Popular Mechanics at
home, and just listen-not for me, but for your own good. Iwon't guar-
antee any answers, but, Ithink it might be of some use to you regard-
less."

Istared at the book and the pamphlets on the table. Grabbing
them, Istood up and headed for the door. On the way out Imuttered to
him that Iwould think about it. Iturned around on my heel, paper-
back Torah under my arm, and left the synagogue. On the walk home I
smoked four more cigarettes. Ifelt like crying, and Ididn't know why.

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