Page 106 - Contrast2012

Embalmed corpses last longer than the remains of a fractured relation-
ship.

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There are about five rows of six chairs in the parlor, divided into three
on two sides. Not all of them are full, but mostly everyone here is
middle-aged. They must be his brothers and sisters. Diane seems to be
sitting in the front by herself-three young people are on the other side
of the aisle, so I guess she still only has three children. They must not
have any children. Thank Christ.

Behind her is Pam's husband, his neck tattoos peering out
from the collar of his suit, giving himself away, even at a time like this.
Pam is next to him. There's an open seat next to her. Ihope they won't
say much or ask me much of anything. That would be too uncomfort-
able, but Idon't see a row to myself being possible.

Ihave to walk six steps to her-everyone's looking ahead, but
finding my way next to her does not go unnoticed.

"Sarah?" she's crying, a tissue in one hand. "I'm so sorry, it's
terrible."

Igive half of a smile and take her free hand. Idon't want to
know what she's sorry for. Her husband-shit, Iforgot his name-turns
to me and gives me a nod.

Iwas the maid of honor at their wedding.

§

Imean, what if Foster Wallace had finished The Pale King? It
might not have been that good once he was done with it-which could
only have happened ifhe had clawed out of the severely depressive state
he was in.

Maybe what made the book good was that it was unfinished
- that you don't get closure. That the point is there is no end. You keep
feeling things.

He was a philosopher. He didn't think you could predict the
future. How could anyone predict how things would end? Or, really,
not end.

§

104 I contrast