Page 12 - Contrast2007
P. 12
Hustle
Richard A. Mann
There is something about waking up on would be. The basic plan consisted of: drink,
fashionable plaid sheets with a finger on your drink, compliment, drink, drink, "comeb~ck
left hand and your dick smelling like some- to my place." You ended up having to brmg
thing most people call fishy. The failure of out the verbal big guns, "I have always ha~ a
a preemptory Advil leaves you with sharp thing for you, I was just scared to do anythI~g
pains and a justified phobia of the natural light about it." Of course you hardly know the gIrl
that shines through cobwebbed windows and and care even less. The drinks and the com-
Ikea knock-off shades. Was it the 27 or so pliments eventually finished her off.
minutes of erection fulfillment that drove you
to invest the better part of the evening sweet- The drinks worked just as well on yOU
talking some girl you would make fun of if and soon you were dropping lines common-
you saw her on The Maury Show trying to ly reserved for romantic guys' engagement
pick her baby's daddy out of an assortment speeches or some guy, following the lead ~f
of sidewalk cell phone salesmen and aspiring a jewelry store commercial, trying to get hIS
rap stars? Or was it the desire for a connec- wife of 20 years to marry him again with a
tion with someone, even one that is more of a big fucking diamond rock. You didn't have
farce than the hysterical rumors that a truck to convince her anymore, the usual stuff got
bomb blew its way into the IRS building on her mind hot and bothered, but you still had
September 11th? to convince yourself. Unlike the normal ste-
reotypical bastard male who would lie to get
In kindergarten and first grade, Katie a girl into bed, you were not looking for that
Sales chased you around the orange sherbet quick nameless sex. You wanted that slow,
colored classroom trying to get you to play soft, face-to-face shit, with Boyz II Men play-
house. You would have rather died than ing in the background, hearing her breath as
share transparent tea with her and Sandy the you rhythmically laced her. You hold her
blonde pigtailed doll, but now you find your- hand giving her something to hold onto as
self wishing hookers took money to sit around she bites her bottom lip and arches her back.
and socialize instead of taking that money to
take it in any or all holes. Intimacy like that is hard to achieve ov~r-
night with someone, but it is even more dif-
The girl next to you rolls over and puts ficult when it is someone you don't give tw~
her head right on your right pectoral muscle. shits about. Finally she dragged you out 0
From an overhead view you might have been this month's trendy New York city-esque bar,
mistaken for a married couple that was actu- and the sex went according to plan, excep~
ally happy or some high school guy and his she was not a fan of Boyz II Men and decide
~rlfriend that he just duped into non-virgin- to plug her iPod into your stereo. After it was
ity. You let your mind think that it is some- over you got to hold her fall asleep and to not
thing like reality as you stroke the unfamiliar have to realize it was all bullshit till the morn-
strands of her hair and give her a soft kiss on ing.
the forehead that is designed to seem caring.
The stopgap girl reaches across your
Yo.ufeel ashamed for turning out such a torso with her right hand. She skillfully ma~i
n~t s~ Impressive specimen, but then you re- sages the back of your left hand as her sma
alize It beats the hell out of waking up alone uno bttrruussiive mouth di.spenses the "you're.
a~d unable to open your eyes. Laying this not like other guys" cliche. Most times thiS
girl down was not as easy as you thought it is when you rack your memory to remember
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