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the lost thing you could reach in your
pocket and feel a familiar
you have lost something object, feel something with shape,
something warm and
now you forget reassuring, but
what your have lost. is it you find only
coins, lint, comb, nothing,
a word? you think, void. what
you skim the dictionaries it is.
for it, or is it you cannot sleep.
an old fmaily name, you haven't slept for
you go to cemeteries, all 13 days, you haven't
old cemeteries looking eaten for 3. you go out
for it, it, whatever it and scan the lawn for it. you buy a
is. you look in matchbook covers, deluxe metal detector, hoping
perhaps it is a name, an address, to find something,
a phone number someone gave you anything that will make
at a party or you feel you have found
perhaps it, that you at last have
discovered what it is
it is and can sleep knowing
the house key; you that all your belongings
look through your pants are safe and in their
pockets, old coat pockets, rightful place. your metal detector
call to the cleaners to see collects 3527 paper clips. they
if they found anything, are not enough to make up
"What have you lost?" they ask. "Oh, for it. maybe
anything, just anything," you say. if you go to sleep.
nothing maybe you will remember
what it is, maybe
you can find nothing. you will remember
your wife sees you looking in as you fall asleep or
drawers, closets, corners, see it in a dream, or maybe
under the bed before going to sleep you will just forget
and under the bed in the middle of the and forget that you
night. she becomes worried, "you have forgotton.
always seem to be searching, dear" she says,
"What are you looking for?" 8 Joe Gainer
"Oh nothing,
nothing," you say

you go on looking.
you sit in your chair, your arms
hanging, your eyes flashing
around you. you try to remember
what it is. what
are you looking for?
your pen knife
your driver's license
your birth certificate
your paycheck. if only