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Songs for my Captain

doubt dawned early, a world-awareness
(not weltschmerz yet).
and a man was whistling
who seemed invincible;
he didn't act disturbed.
as age diminished dependency
life was more everything.
i danced to the captain's song:
ride on your mystery ship
and be amazed.

but my uncertainties grew
as decisions were damanded.
the man himself faltered, helpless
(he needed a rest).
during lonely drives at night
i sang along with the captain
who knew he was mighty sick
yet wanted to keep command.
in the end he decided
he was closer to home.

now i discuss popular paradoxes
(Bermuda-Triangle, UFO's)
with multi-faceted friends.
mended men aren't invincible again.
a friend of the captain
says he could be easily happy
if the universe unveiled itself.
but i no longer listen without
a drop of salt-stained experience.,.,
lessons learned from whimsical cruelties.

Einstein said
homo-sapien brains
were not designed
to hold it all.
a madman might
have half a mind
to agree.

-Helen Kalbaugk