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The Guessing Game
VERNE JOHNSON
UNDOUBTEDLY) the world's greatest guessing game is that which is
held between man and woman during courtship. The boy tries
to guess what the girl will look like at breakfast, and the girl tries to
figure out whether or not she can keep him under her thumb. At the
same time, the boy's mother is trying to decide whether the girl is good
enough for her son (and she never is), and the girl's father is trying
to figure out how much money the boy should make in the next twenty
years. At least that's partly what courtship seems like in our society.
But in others it's quite different, and in some cases, quite unique.
In West Africa, for instance, wives are married by purchase. The
amount of her worth varies with the rank of the father. The more
cattle you own the better wife you can get. This is quite different
from our society where cattle are used mainly for making cowhoy
films for television.
In South Africa, among the Bushman, the new wife must build
the hut, provide the food, firewood, and water, and also cook the
meals for her husband (this is primitive?). Usually, she will begin
building their hut before the marriage so that they can move in im-
mediately. However, this is not always possible. In this case the
couple remain with the wife's parents until she completes the hut.
This provides the mother-in-law with an early opportunity to harass
her new son-in-law. The only other thing wrong with this arrange-
ment is that the wife can't run home to mother, thereby providing
the husband with some rest.
Naturally you don't have to travel to foreign lands to find strange
customs of courtship. Here in America we have some fine examples of
how a courtship really should be run. Among the best examples is
that of the Pueblo Indian. In this society, when the male spots an
appealing female, he is not allowed to whistle, stamp his feet, or sing
swivel-hipped songs to her as we can in our society. In fact, he may
not even speak to her in public. He has to meet her in private, as for
example, down by the old mill stream where she fills her water jars.
There he may express his feelings to her in any way that he wishes.
After she slaps his face, however, he still has a chance to win her. To
do so, he may go to the medicine man for help. The medicine man
will then go to the chief to see whether he may give this help. Once
permission is granted, the medicine man passes on his "power" to the
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