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A FINE RUSSIAN ART

Ralph B. Vincent

You are no doubt aware of the tremendous advances that have
been made in Russia. You know that all the really important inven-
tions which we enjoy today originated in that country. The progress
in science is particularly significant. However, I would like to speak
to you about what is perhaps the greatest single contribution Russia
has made to civilization. You might think that this contribution
comes from the field of science. On the contrary, it comes from the
field of sports. It is the greatest sport since the Romans introduced
that marvelous pastime of throwing Christians to the lions. I am, of
course, referring to that exciting new game, Russian Roulette.

As a member of the International Society for the Preservation and
Popularization of the Fine Sport of Russian Roulette, I would like to
explain the advantages of this game that seems to be so greatly misun-
derstood. Let us begin with the rules and regulations.

First you must have a revolver. The type is unimportant. Any
caliber will do. One bullet is usually sufficient. Here you see the
first advantage of this game. It is economical. It is generally un-
necessary to invest in a quantity of expensive ammunition.

Begin the game by placing the bullet into the chamber, making
sure it is so placed that if you pull the trigger the gun will fire. Now
spin the chamber. Remember, you are cheating if you omit this sec-
ond step. Then place the muzzle against your head, like this, and .
pull the trigger.

Click!
Now hand the pistol to your opponent.

One of the nice things about Russian Roulette is that anyone can
play. No skill is necessary. It is truly a democratic sport.

Click!
Russian Roulette is also restful. It tends to relax people. I once
had a friend who was extremely restless and nervous. He tried every-
thing he could think of to calm his nerves. He almost lived on tran-
quilizer pills. One day I suggested he take up Russian Roulette. He
said he would do so. I have not heard a complaint from him since.
Click!

Fame can also be gained through playing Russian Roulette. You
are certain to have your name printed in the newspaper. The names