Page 218 - YB1969

SNURD IS PRESl UNKNOWN NEW SNURD CABINET: Sec. of State Dream Risk; Sec. of Int. Sewer Youfall; Sec. of HEW Celery Wheeze; Atty. Gen. Pluto Kratz; Sec. of Ag. Orville Freedumb; and Sec. of Treas. Ceres A. Bond. Snurd Delivers Inaugural; Introduces Cabinet President Snurd today made one of the most unusual inaugural addresses ever "New Look" at 1600 Pa. recorded, receiving telegrams, even before he had finished, from dignitaries of Slob- bovia, Northwest Standoffia, and Mono- mania. Here are some excerpts from that speech: "Friends, roamers, and countrymen, lend me your ears. As the newly elected President, I feel the strong call of duty calling me to the duty of telling you how I regard my call to duty (I wrote that my- self-heh, heh.) These are the times that try men's souls. Now is the time ... "As I was saying, I have this cabinet picked out. Now if anyone doesn't like these people, please write and tell me. Most of these men have had experience in urban problems-two are from Mafia, III., and the remainder from Cosa Nostra, N.J. Decorator Tinker Bell demands that workmen keep on their toes. Their experiences include everything from the operation of Federal Courts to the quality of our penal institutions. "That's all I can think of now. Thank President and Mrs. Snurd have announced you." their first appointment to the White House staff, Interior Decorator Tinker Bell. 214